Woman is ‘blown away’ with how bad BF’s Christmas gifts are says, ‘these are my ex-BF’s interests.’

My BF is upset because I hated all of his gifts.

Adventurous-JaneDoe says:

I (21f) received gifts from my boyfriend (24m) today as my Christmas present. I kinda knew from the start before I even opened them that I wouldn’t like them. I just had that feeling. Turns out that feeling was right. He got me two gifts. One gift was a giant life-size cutout of Hatsune Miku, and the other was a makeup palette.

The first gift just blew my mind. I’ve never once hinted that this would be something I’m interested in, nor have I ever directly mentioned or said anything about liking the character.

This gift was based on a poster I had in my old apartment that my ex left when he moved out. He was a fan of the character, and I was just left with a poster I had bought for him.

When we left my parents, I told him that I wasn’t very fond of it because I think cutouts are creepy, and I didn’t want to set up and get scared by it randomly in the middle of the night. He kinda got upset by this, even though I did thank him for it.

The second gift was alright, but when it comes to makeup, I’m very picky about the stuff I use. I’m into more pinks and bright colors than the more toned-down colors that the palette had. This was also another thing I didn’t specifically mention I wanted. I didn’t say anything about not liking it and just thanked him.

It feels like he assumed I would enjoy this stuff when I don’t. I don’t wear makeup often, and I’m not fond of random things that could freak me out by just being in the corner all freaky-like. I texted my friend to ask her opinion on this, and he caught a glimpse of me telling her about the presents and how I didn’t like them.

He told me he’s upset I went to her instead of telling him, but I already felt bad for telling him that I didn’t really like the first thing, so saying I didn’t like the second one just seemed like a dick move, and I was just gonna keep it to myself.

Now he’s just giving me the silent treatment even after I explained that I felt sh%#ty telling him I didn’t like the things he bought me. I know I should be grateful, but I went to lengths for his gift, and it feels like he didn’t listen to anything I’ve been saying I’ve wanted in the three months I’ve been talking about random stuff I would like. AITA?

OP provided more context:

I got him a $100 gift certificate to his favorite tattoo artist because he has a tattoo he’s been wanting to get finished. I would have put more on it if I had the money, but I’m flat broke right now due to house bills.

That poster was something I had in my old apartment until August of this year. It was hidden behind my door of the bedroom of the apartment. I no longer live in that apartment. He watched me tear the poster to shreds when I was moving things out because he was one of the people helping me move out of that apartment because that apartment was where my ex-boyfriend (the owner of the poster) abused me.

I told him thank you for the gifts when I opened them and told him privately after the first gift the story behind why I’m not a fan of Miku. He was upset by this but understood. I told him how I was a little scared to open the second one because I didn’t want to not like it and make him feel bad if I didn’t.

He told me that he “bet his life” I would like it. When It turned out I didn’t like it, I messaged my friend back because she was asking about the second gift because I sent her a photo of the first one. He just happened to look at my phone when I was distracted and saw the conversation and got mad.

I have a house which I bought in August and had asked my bf (who was my friend at the time) to be my roommate to make it easier to pay bills. He ended up asking me out in September. Yes, we live together, but no, it wasn’t because we were dating.

We were close friends (even if we had only met a couple of months prior) and I need someone to help pay bills. I had another that was gonna move in but she backed out because she wanted her own space with her boyfriend.

For those that think I am entitled and ungrateful, that’s to each their own. I told him specifically not to get me anything at all because I wasn’t able to afford much. I was only able to get his gift out of sheer luck!

I didn’t want anything, but I knew he was going to get me something no matter what I said, so whenever I saw something I liked either while we were out or if I saw it online, I’d send it to him or point it out, saying this is something I think is cool.

I never ever mentioned Miku in any conversation ever. I have, however, mentioned other anime characters that I enjoy! I’ve talked about countless things I enjoy with him. He knows how much of a fan of Hello Kitty I am; he bought me socks randomly because I was sad about something.

That’s something I would have appreciated as a cardboard cutout (even though they are still creepy). I’ve also mentioned that I need a makeup container so I could move my makeup off the floor of the bathroom. I never ask for makeup because I’m picky about my makeup because I have sensitive skin.

I did text him this morning after I had left for work that I was sorry for hurting him by and that it wasn’t intentional. I also explained why I didn’t like the gifts and told him I’d make him his favorite food to make up for upsetting him.

Here are some of the top comments:

pessimistfalife says:

YTA (You're the A%#hole). You had a poster of the character in your bedroom. He didn't know why it was hung, and wouldn't have guessed it was your ex's that you left up after the breakup even though you don't like the character.

SpicyTunaTTies says:

NAH (No A%#hole Here). I think other comments have covered the Miku cut-out pretty thoroughly, so I'll address the makeup one.

I get where you're coming from with the makeup gift because, as you've said, you don't even really wear makeup. That kind of makes the act of him giving you makeup read like a generic "girl gift."

Like when dudes only ever gift their wives cooking and cleaning appliances year after year (I mean specifically when they have not ever communicated an interest in receiving such items). I also understand where people are saying that you guys haven't been dating for very long, so without much to go on, he did try to find something he hoped you would like.

The makeup thing reminds me of a guy I dated a long time ago who would randomly show up at my job with gifts. Sounds super sweet, right? However, back then, I didn't like receiving gifts and told him as much since receiving gifts used to make me uncomfortable (which I did explain to him.)

We'd known each other for at least a year at this point and chatted a lot every single day (sometimes in person, sometimes via text), so we did know each other pretty well.

In addition to bringing me gifts when I said I didn't want any in the first place, the things he got me were all really random things that he thought a girl would like in general. He didn't bother to take time to think about what I would like.

Because of this, he just so happened to get me things that I really hated and had explicitly expressed dislike of previously. It was hard to be grateful for these things, as they made me feel like he just didn't listen to me or pay attention to what I'd said.

I don't think either of you are really a%#holes in this situation. I completely understand being utterly baffled and disappointed by these gifts as you have no interest in them, but I do think it was nice that he paid attention to notice your Miku poster and getting something Miku-related was actually a good idea on his part when he'd seen something of it hanging up in your home. He just missed the mark unintentionally.

(Okay, gifting someone a cardboard cut-out of anything is a really odd choice tbh, but he did try to pick something that would have meaning to you.) You're not an a%#hole for venting to your friend about the situation, either.

It's just an awkward situation all the way around, but I'm sure both of you will feel a bit better about it after re-discussing it in the near future, perhaps after the initial hurt feelings die down a bit.