'AITA for telling my mom she can't stop my daughter from talking about Taylor Swift?'
I told my mom she can't ban Taylor Swift from my children's lives.
Fresh_Afternoon_8804 writes:
I want to start this by saying I did in fact have a really good childhood. I was fed, well groomed, and overall had everything I needed. This is not going to something where I’m ungrateful.
I 43f have a daughter Kendra (fake name) who’s 15. My daughter for the last year ish has been hugely obsessed with celebrities like Taylor Swift. It’s become a vocal point in her life to talk about TS’s music or Easter eggs (I think that’s correct).
Honestly I don’t see anything wrong with this, maybe a little concern over how much she knows, but nothing that raises red flags. I’m happy knowing that this is what occupies her time instead of something truly worrying. I’m heavily emphasizing this because a year ago my baby girl was so depressed she couldn’t get out of bed.
Now the issue at hand is when I was growing up my mother would never allow us to over obsess anything. It’s hard to describe but most of my childhood rules were sit, be quiet, and obey. I’ve limited my contact with my mom due to this but I’ve let her back into my life recently.
This past weekend my family (including my mom) were sitting and watching TV. Taylor Swift briefly popped up on the screen and Kendra began talking to her brother about it (also a casual fan). No one was paying attention until my Mom asked Kendra “When are you gonna grow up?”
I snapped at her to leave it but she kept telling Kendra that she was sick and tired of hearing about Taylor. I got defensive saying Kendra hadn’t brought her up this entire time nor had she the last few visits. We kept going back and forth and I asked my kids to leave the room.
My mom brought up the fact that Kendra posts frequently about TS on her insta and I finally snapped saying I don’t mind because at least she feels like she can without judgement. I kept yelling about the fact that I was never able to talk about my interest or hobbies growing up ,so I don’t care if she Kendra gets TS on her forehead as long as it makes her happy.
My kids aren’t spoiled all I did was give them the freedom to love what they love. My mom yelled and called me ungrateful and several other words before storming out. AITA?
OP responded to some comments:
Jealous_Turnover_202 writes:
NTA. my mother always encouraged my interests, no matter how weird or obsessive. I watched Jim Carrey’s How The Grinch Stole Christmas everyday for a year. She sat through that for a year.
I believe it was through that freedom that I never had any desire to party/ drink/do drugs while in high school. I never needed an outside outlet because home was safe. I think you did the right thing to stand up for your daughter in that moment.
OP responded:
That’s precisely what I’m trying to avoid with her. I’m giving her the freedom to make the right choices so she doesn’t feel the need to make bad ones
KatzAKat says:
NTA. Looks like it's time to go back to limited contact with your mom as she's not safe to have around your children. Your mother will undermine anything that your daughter does, wants, feels, believes, etc., merely because it's what your mother does. She can't allow your daughter to be her own person. It's just not in her. Protect your daughter
OP responded:
Unfortunately that’s exactly what’s going to happen. I just wish it didn’t need to be this was but Ive been stretched too thin.
ShinySunshine92 says:
Quite frankly, if your mom has a problem with how much daughter talks about TS on social media... perhaps she could go ahead and set an example by growing up and giving the girl some space to be young.
OP says:
I try to let my kids see me as a human with emotions as much as I can but sometimes it gets too much and they have to leave. I’ve talked to Kendra about her socials and she’s decided to removed her grandma as a follower.
What do you think?