'AITA for intentionally treating my cousin's stepdaughter worse than my blood relations?'
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"AITA for treating my cousin's stepdaughter differently?"
MGL_Santos_ writes:
I was raised in a family-oriented household, so I grew up close with my cousins and other extended family members my age. As the years passed, we grew up and had our own lives, but the bond remained the same, if not stronger.
Some of these family members settled down and started families of their own. While I am close with their kids, having my own is not for me. I don’t think I want that responsibility—or at least not yet.
Since I am single, have a low-maintenance lifestyle, am child-free, have a stable job, some passive income, and extra money, I try my best to share my blessings with everyone, including the younger generations of the family.
Fast forward to last weekend—we celebrated my grandmother’s birthday. It was a big deal, and nearly every family member was going to be there. With that in mind, I prepared some goodie bags filled with chocolate, candy, and cookies.
I also baked some extra cookies just in case more kids attended the reunion than planned (including family friends) and made a separate set of goodie bags, each containing three assorted cookies.
At the end of the day, I handed every kid a goodie bag to take home. Everyone was happy and appreciative of the gift—or so I thought. My cousin’s stepdaughter (10) approached me, complaining that her goodie bag was smaller than her younger sister’s. Luckily, there were two extra cookie bags, but she complained that she wanted chocolate and candy too, like everyone else.
I explained that she actually had more cookies than anyone—12 in total—and suggested that if she wanted, she could trade some with her sister or ask her to share. She refused and said that since she was older, she deserved the extra cookies as well as the other goodies.
I told her I couldn’t do that but promised to give her some next time. She started crying, and my cousin—her stepdad—came over to calm her down. I explained the situation and apologized. He understood, took her away, and also took the extra packs of cookies I had planned to give her.
That evening, my cousin’s wife called me and told me I was a d^#k and accused me of mistreating her daughter just because we aren’t blood-related. She also said that this wasn’t the only time I had treated her differently. Then she cursed at me, called me some profanities, and hung up before I could speak for myself.
Admittedly, I do treat her differently. Initially, yes, it was because we weren’t related, but after a few years, it was because of her attitude and personality. She’s super spoiled, entitled, rowdy, nosy, and just plain misbehaved.
BUT what happened at Grandma’s birthday was an honest mistake. Given her personality, had I known my cousin planned to bring her (which he normally doesn’t), I would have given her the same bag as her sister and the other kids to avoid the drama. So, am I the a%#$ole?
Here are the top rated comments:
BoredofBin says:
Info - Why could you have just not given her the extra bag? Especially since you did give her a smaller one initially. I understand that her attitude is an issue but the girl is 10 while you are an adult, who admittedly did treat her differently than the rest of their nieces and nephews. Adding the judgement here. YTA.
BluebirdAny3077 says:
NTA since it wasn't intentional but so you know, when you make bags of treats for kids, make them all the same. Next time there is an event, make hers the same as everyone else, personally had it to her and say you are sorry for the last time.
For extra points, hand her one small extra treat as a sorry gift. Then move on, and the people who talked c%@p to you can just get over themselves. Kids are kids so they always expect the same and demand more, but you didn't mean any harm.
Humble-Can-4229 says:
No offence but YTA. At first, I was in doubt because you said you made a few extra cookie bags for random kids that might turn up, but then you clarify that this girl has been a part of the family for years. She is not some random kid that you weren't expecting to be there, so it is actually really nasty to purposely treat her differently because you don't like her. She is just a kid.
WickedAsh111 says:
As a former (because I cut them off) step-CHILD whose bonus fam did this repeatedly (but told me I was spoiled or entitled when pointing this out). YTA. Sorry.