'I was left millions of dollars by someone I use to casually date.' UPDATED

Life is full of surprises, sometimes, they're positive.

"I (25f) was left millions of dollars by someone I use to casually date."

So, I am still in shock writing this post and I haven’t told anyone yet, not even my husband. I think the first thing I need to do is speak with my husband and then decide what we want to do. I am not sure how he will feel about this.

I’m going to go on a whole ride here because this is still so unbelievable. I (25f) was left millions of dollars by an older guy I use to date. Back in 2017 when I was in college, I went to Florida to spend the summer with my uncle. I use to frequent the Las Olas area and one evening while I was out with some friends who lived in Florida, I met an older gentleman.

I was 20 at the time, not a lot of experience with men or anything really.

This guy was in his early 60s but definitely looked 45 max. We started dating and mostly, I would just attend these high end events with him like galas and yacht parties and travel around the states a lot.

At this time, his wife had just passed on a year ago and during the summer I met his son casually at a dinner party at his place. I would run into his son whenever I was at his place and we had a good relationship. Dating this guy was super refreshing, like, a finer kind of life I was never really use to. It was just a fun time and all throughout this time, we never slept together once.

We would kiss and cuddle but he never initiated s#x. It was just great conversation, he told me about all his life experiences and how he made his money, he was into real estate, investing, and the hotel industry. He gave me a lot of advice about money etc. In the back of my mind, I knew he had money ofc but I didn’t realize he had this much money.

Anyway, I was in college for Nursing (I am now an CVICU nurse) and at the end of the summer I had to go back to the North for school. A few days before I left, he actually sat me down and asked me if I really wanted to finish school. He basically was asking me to quit school and move to Florida with him and just kind of be his trophy girl.

(Which honestly is what I was during the summer) I thought about it and even though it seemed easy, I honestly didn’t know a whole lot about this man, and I never saw myself as that person. I wanted the career, and the degree, and to make my own money. I never ever asked him for money or for anything at all. I just genuinely enjoyed his company.

I wanted to continue to date him however, but he said he couldn’t do long distance and if we were going to date he would want me to live with him. For me, it was just all too soon. And the huge age gap I wasn’t sure this was something I wanted long term. We ended up going our separate ways but we still kept in touch. Checked in on each other every couple of months. Just hi and bye. I eventually got married.

I of course told my husband about that relationship because it did mean a lot to me and I did care about him. The last time I spoke to him was about 3 months ago. Well, the executor of his estate contacted me a few days ago. A few hours later his son also called me and we talked for a long time about him and how he passed.

Honestly, at first I didn’t believe that it was real but after talking with his son. Wow. His son told me this guy talked about me so much and that he told him I pulled him out of depression and sadness after his mom died. His son told me I meant a lot to him because the time I came into his life was a really rough time and I made it better.

I feel so many emotions because I never knew our relationship meant so much to him. I am very grateful he thought of me and I am still not sure if I should accept this money. I am a nurse and while nurses don’t make millions, I make good money to live a comfortable life. My husband also has a great job as well.

I will be talking with my husband about it soon. I don’t really know a lot about money but yea…I’m still in shock. I never thought I would ever have this amount of money my entire life.

TL;DR; I got left millions of dollars by someone I use to casually date. I am now married.

Unsurprisingly, internet strangers had a lot to say in response.

AnotherAnimeNerd wrote:

Aside from talking to your husband, I'd talk to the son as well. You're in a spot where you and your family can live comfortably (granted, not making any bad financial decisions). Take a month off and enjoy life, do things he enjoyed. Take his son and just reminisce.

OP responded:

I talked to his son a few days ago. He wanted to be cremated so his son is going to do that and its just him, his friends, and a couple of extended family members. I will speak with my husband to see if he would be okay with going. If he is, then we will attend.

iiguans wrote:

TBH, take it. If you don't want it, donate it to charity. Otherwise invest it or set up a trust fund for your kids, just make sure to allow them access to it after they reach their 21st year/finish college, so they don't get spoiled.

OP responded:

Thanks for the advice!

Lallner wrote:

Good for you! Accept the money, give some to charity, invest some for your future, and if you and your husband have kids, you'll be able to take care of their education. Enjoy it!

Life-yogurtcloset-98 wrote:

If it's too much money, send chunks of it to people you know can change their lives. I don't think your husband will mind it, if you decide to keep it, after taxes just lock it up in a high interest account. Pay off your debts and keep going about your lives. Then one day you'll be like "oh! We got retirement money."

OP responded:

If we do accept it, I will for sure take out whatever chunk I decide is good and share it with friends and family. Especially my friends from college. We were international students here in the US and we struggled so much to get through college. Thanks!

[deleted] wrote:

You were 20 and dating a 60 year old man?

You mean you were a sugar baby.

Keep the inheritance girl, inflation is bad!

OP responded:

Definitely not a sugar baby because he wasn’t getting any sugar and I wasn’t getting any money/gifts/ or otherwise. But idk, does that still make me a sugar baby? Not sure how all of this stuff works. 😅

The next day, OP shared an update.

Update: So I spoke with my husband yesterday and he said the choice of whether to accept it or not is entirely up to me. He said money like that could forever change our lives of course, but at the end of the day, if I’m not comfortable accepting it then I shouldn’t.

So, I have decided to accept it. Just thinking about being able to retire my parents gives me so much joy. Thanks for all the advice and input! I appreciate it all!

The comments kept coming in.

clowntown777 wrote:

Be willing to talk to and be flirtatious with men older than your parents. Sometimes possibly even sleeping with them. Boom, get rich.

OP responded:

Sometimes good companionship is more meaningful than sexual escapades. Not saying we both weren’t attracted to each other but it was more than that. And also, you can form lasting relationships with people your own age.

There are a lot of high value men in their 30s who will give you the world if they can and not ab#se and take advantage of you, but of course you should treat them the way you want to be treated. Just be genuine. I have dated men who are way well off in their 20s.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to date someone who is financially capable, society makes it seem like there is something wrong with that. I’ve never asked any man I’ve ever dated for money or other things. You become your environment and the people you hang around. I’ve learned a lot about investing and real estate just by being among this crowd.

Sometimes that knowledge is way more important than anything else. And if they happen to be 20, 30, 40 years older than you…so what? My husband isn’t a millionaire ofc, but he makes good money and he for sure is a high value man that will take care of me in many ways, and I will do the same for him.

Cheeseballfondue wrote:

I am somewhat happy for OP but squicked out by her repeated use of 'high value man.'

SeaCDragon wrote:

Something about her calling people "high value men" gives me the ick.

blippityblue72 wrote:

It would have been really stupid to turn away the money. From what she said the son was even ok with it. I would imagine it was just a small fraction of the inheritance so it’s not like anyone was getting left destitute.

So many people won’t accept gifts because they don’t think they deserve it or someone else is worse off. Accepting a gift from someone who truly wants to give it is as much a blessing to the giver as it is the receiver.

peter0955837 wrote:

Millions of dollars is something I don't think I could handle, it's just too much. All in all, I'm happy things were good in the end. The money can be used for anything that can benefit OP but it's definitely OP's choice to choose the path. Wishing all well.