'AITA for being upset my husband left me alone with the cops after I was stopped by them?'
"AITA for being upset my husband left me alone with the cops after I was stopped by them?"
We were heading home and each of us were pulling a trailer. Me with an ATV on mine, and his with a side by side. I got stopped on a country road. Never saw the cop, but he said I was speeding, I didn’t think I was because I barely have enough power to pull this, least of all speed.
But I didn’t argue. I also had two of our med size dogs in the car with me. My husband saw I got stopped and pulled off of the road in front of me. The cop asked if he was with me. I told him yes he was. Neither of us have any tickets or priors, or anything like that. Live a pretty quiet mellow life.
Then all of a sudden, my husband just pulled out and left. Left me all alone with a cop on the side of the road. He didn’t know why I was being stopped or for what, but he just left and went to get something to eat!
I was let off with a warning. Phew! But I feel like my husband should have stuck around to see if I was ok, or if I needed help with the dogs in this situation, but he took off and got himself some food instead. He tried calling me 15 mins later. Said he was tracking me on a “find me” app, so he knew I was ok. Am I the AH for being hurt, and somewhat pissed he left?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Jesiplayssims said:
Well, now you know where you stand with him in a reasonably low stakes situation. You got off with two warnings. NTA.
Kitchen_Victory_7964 said:
NTA, your husband is a selfish A-H. The absolute least he could have done is text you to let you know what he was doing and assure you he’d pick up some food for you as well.
MissNikitaDevan said:
NTA. I'm from a country where police don't tend to overreact the way they do in the USA and I would have been pissed if my partner just left, never mind in a country with killer cops.
Curvylolaa said:
NTA. It’s totally understandable that you feel hurt and upset about your husband leaving you alone during a stressful situation. Being stopped by the police can be intimidating, and having his support would have likely made you feel more secure.
Even though he may have thought you were okay since you weren’t in immediate trouble, it’s natural to want your partner there for reassurance. Your feelings are valid, and it’s important to communicate how his actions affected you. It might help to talk it out so he understands your perspective better.
StationAccomplished3 said:
YTA. Big deal, why should he just sit there and wait - seems pointless. It would be more efficient for him to get home and start unloading the trailer and then help you with yours. Were you afraid of the police doing something to you? Also, he was probably pissed thinking he would need to pay for your speeding ticket.
Fun-Childhood-4749 said:
NTA even when nothing is wrong, I get nervous by being pulled over by a police officer. Everyone gets like that in this type of situations. (Especially a woman alone). I would be really upset if my husband just left me behind! He could at least had come check on you.
Accurate_Prompt_8800 said:
NTA. That’s bizarre that he left you. If that’s what he does now, what would he do in a dangerous situation? He’s selfish if he left because he’s hungry, that’s for sure. I would be more than upset, you should definitely talk to him about it sternly.
You guys need a rules discussion and agreement. Sounds like you didn't have one before. Hungry guys don't read women's minds well if ever. I will say, I personally would not have left my wife in that situation.
Conscious-Trust4547 OP responded:
We do have rules when we go places towing both the toys with us. We usually drive together, or close any ways, and if either of us has a problem we both pull over. We are pulling trailers so we can make sure all is ok this way. Which is why I was so put off, because why not just pull up the road and wait ?
Cop already acknowledged that that was my husband. He was way up the road with blinkers on. There was no problem with that. Where as I had two overly friendly medium size dogs in my car. So there was a potential for a problem if the cop didn’t like dogs. Luckily he did. And all was ok. He was a decent man and we had a good conversation.
There was absolutely no problem with the cop. He was professional and doing his job. Hubby was ok being parked far away enough so he could keep an extra eye on stuff, but then he left.
Of course I could handle this all alone. That wasn’t the point. We were towing together in a caravan heading home, and we have each others back. Which means we are married and keep an eye out for each other.
If he was stopped, I’d of pulled up far away enough not to be involved in any way, but just “be there”.. close enough in case any thing was needed, far away enough not to be involved.