'AITA for going to a wedding without my GF even after she said she would start a fight if I went?'
"AITA for going to a wedding without my girlfriend?"
ArrieBeer writes:
I'm going to a wedding for my two friends I've known for years. The wedding has been in the works for a year now. Super excited for them, but the bride's condition was no bringing someone new to the wedding that she has not met yet.
Cut to December and I met my girlfriend, super sweet and supportive, but she has a bit of trauma from past relationships treating her like s^#t. This makes any situation where I leave her alone to go out with my friends or do something where I leave her alone in a room, she starts crying and gets pissed.
So now the wedding is coming up and she hasn't met the bride, so I can't take her, as we already had a discussion about the wedding and she understood the situation and said it's okay if I go.
Now today, months after the discussion, she messages me and says she's upset that she'll be coming through to my place the day of the wedding and basically waiting for me to come home. She admitted that she'll probably end up crying and us having a fight. I argued that if that's the case, why doesn't she just come through to my place the day after?
She's not budging on being upset over being alone on Friday night (which isn't a guarantee, because the wedding starts early and we will probably leave around 5 or 6 pm). Her coming on Saturday isn't an option, as she refuses. I keep telling her I'm not budging on this.
I am going. The wedding is two hours away by car and I'm carpooling with my friend and his girlfriend, so I don't have control over when I get back. My girlfriend offered to pay for my gas, but I don't want to drive all the way to and back alone. Honestly, I also know if I have to leave early I'm going to be annoyed and it will probably also result in a fight. So AITA? Will give context where needed.
Here are the top rated comments.
Remote-Visual7976 says:
NTA--but your GF has issues that you cannot fix. She needs to go to therapy. If you let this to continue she will isolate you from everyone due to her fears. She is using crying and her trauma for manipulation to keep you tied to her. you need to be able to live your life.
J_Shar says:
NTA- Anyone who says “this will probably cause me to start a fight” knows exactly what they are doing as they attempt to manipulate you. Because someone with higher emotional intelligence who would recognize something may start a fight would instead try to deal with their emotions to avoid a fight. It sounds like she has a great deal of challenges that would be unhealthy for any relationship.
Puzzleheaded_Rule134 says:
NTA - wow your gf is using her insecurities like weapons. Unless you’re the one who treated her like s^#t (I get that you are not) she needs to process her trauma with a therapist or friends even. She doesn’t get to take it out on you. This is a new relationship, it’s not even 6 months old. She needs to get a grip.
Greenjello14 says:
Sounds like your gf needs professional help and continuing the relationship may not be the best thing for either of you. This is not something you should accept from her nor should she be ok with behaving this way.