'AITA for moving out of my home because I don't want to support my ex and brother?'
"AITA for moving out at 17 instead of supporting my brother and ex-girlfriend?"
LandCapable8324 writes:
I'm 17 and my brother is 16. My now ex is 16 too. I started dating her 2 years ago. When she told me she was pregnant, I knew the kid wasn't mine because we never got to that point of our relationship. But she was so messed up that I didn't say anything to anyone at first. The truth is that she had cheated with my brother and he got her pregnant.
I admit I lost my temper and I hated my brother when I found out. My grandpa was able to stop me before I did something I would regret, and not because he's my brother and I love him. That's not it at all. It is because it would have ruined my life.
My parents were all over the place, but they said they would stand by my brother and my ex. I told them I hoped they knew they were on their own with that and I wasn't supporting it. They looked at me like I had broken their hearts.
See, ever since I was 13, I found ways to help out with money because my parents struggled, and as soon as I could get a real job, I did. I was still doing it when all this happened, and my parents didn't want me to stop.
I ended up moving in with my grandparents because I couldn't be around them anymore. My parents were upset I was leaving. My grandparents, who never liked my parents relying on me like they did, told them it was tough luck and they should be ashamed of themselves for expecting me to take care of the mess my brother created and help them provide for the rest of our lives. They told my parents it was never my job.
My ex tried to reach out and I told her I didn't want to yell at a pregnant person, so just leave me alone and forget I exist because I will never have anything to do with her again. My brother tried reaching out too, but I just didn't answer and I deleted his texts and blocked him. I walk away from him at school, and if I see him outside, I walk the other way. I started walking the long way home just to avoid him.
My parents expected me to calm down after a month or two, but it has been several months now. I'm almost 18 and the baby will be here soon, and nothing has changed or will change. I told them I won't be a part of that baby's life or his life ever again.
They told me I need to calm down and be more rational. That I was always so responsible and good. My grandparents almost lost their minds when they heard that guilt trip and the implication that I wasn't good anymore.
I was told by some other family members (siblings of one parent) that I should try to be more understanding. That moving out like I did is extreme when I'm still technically a minor. They basically went to bat for my parents because they feel like I was unfair to them when they have to support their kid even if he messed up. AITA?
Here are the top rated comments.
Background_System726 says:
NTA. I'm glad you have your grandparents. It was never your responsibility to provide for your parents family. You have your own life to lead and you have no obligation to subject yourself to people who intentionally hurt you. I hope that you do great things and have a wonderful life.
OP reposted:
Me too. My grandparents saved me from being pretty miserable and maybe even going to the streets because I think I would have chosen that over living there with everything that happened.
ghostoftommyknocker says:
Speaking as someone who has been through therapy for other reasons, there is no timetable for getting therapy. It works best when you are ready for it to happen. If you aren't feeling ready just yet, that is okay. It'll still be there for when you do feel it's time. But there is definitely no harm in researching your options in the meantime, to short list some good candidates for when you feel it's time to reach out.
OP responded:
I like this idea. I don't want to end up with someone who tries to make me get over it and have a relationship with them all again. I know there are therapists who don't believe in not having contact with family and believe you should stick around regardless.
So I don't want to bounce around just to one who won't say anything like that to me. My grandparents said they'd look out for stuff like that for me. But when we were talking about it the first couple we found were like that and I was so turned off of therapy from that.