'AITA for telling my SIL her kids will never get anything from our family?'
"AITA for explaining to my future SIL why her kids will never receive anything from us?"
BreadAcrobatic9859 writes:
I (27F) have a brother (33M) who has been dating his girlfriend Sarah for 2 years, and he proposed a couple of months ago. Sarah has 2 kids from her previous relationship, 8M and 6F. I would say that my parents and I are not very close to Sarah and her kids, but we are cordial and have never had any problems before.
My partner, I, my brother, and Sarah attended Easter dinner at my parents' house, and that's when the drama happened. Sarah's kids were at their father's, so Sarah used this celebration to confront us about my brother requesting a prenup. Basically, my brother explained to her that he expects them to sign a prenup and that only his biological kids will have the right to inherit anything from our family assets.
This is something that we as a family discussed before, and we all agree that only our children should receive assets or money from our inheritance. My brother is free to pay whatever he wants for his stepchildren out of his own money, but my children and his biological children will never have to share anything that our family has with them.
Sarah claimed that we are being unfair and that we are treating her and her kids like strangers instead of embracing them like family. She said that the normal and decent thing to do was for us to see her kids like my brother's kids, who should have equal rights to any children they may have together.
I told her sure, after she gets married to my brother, she will become our in-law and her kids will be my brother's stepchildren, but this does not mean we have to share anything with them. I asked her, will my future kids receive anything from her parents or from their biological father's parents?
She said no, obviously, so I asked her, then why would her kids be entitled to receive anything from us? Sarah said because they will be our family, so I told her that we have plenty of cousins who are also family, but I do not go around wishing to share my inheritance with them.
There was a lot more back and forth between us, and Sarah was not letting this go. My brother asked her to stop because we were there to celebrate Easter, not to have this kind of conversation, but she kept on going, saying we need to clarify it once and for all. I told her from where we stand everything is clear, and it is only she who has a problem.
She said we are greedy and cruel to some kids, and I snapped. I told her to deal with it. She is free to work her butt off and gather assets to leave to her children, but we will never divide anything outside of our family, and she should not expect her children to be our problem or burden to finance.
I honestly feel she is very manipulative and is using my brother for what she and her kids can get from him, but that is my brother's problem to decide if this is the kind of partner he wants. I just want to know if I was too blunt in telling her the truth.
Here are the top rated comments.
RevolutionaryDiet686 says:
NTA Your family is not required to share an inheritance with her and her children.
Tattyhead says:
NTA is she marrying your brother for money?
OP responded:
That's what I think, but it's up to my brother to see for himself and determine of she truly loves him or she just loves the stability he can provide.
ShortThunder5145 says:
NTA. She asked a question and did not like the answer. Your brother has the right to ask for a prenup just like Sarah has the right to not sign it. Life is all about choices. I see absolutely no problem with how your family feels. It’s your money and your decision.
Sarah chose to enter a relationship with a man that did not father her children. That’s the risk she chose to take. Now she knows where she stands in accordance to family inheritance. She can choose accordingly.