'AITA for not letting my parents be grandparents after they chose my sister's friend over me?'
"AITA for not letting my parents to be involved grandparents because they chose my sister's friend over me?"
Glittering_Bag_3055 writes:
I'm (25F) pregnant with my first child, and only a few weeks ago, my estranged parents found out about my pregnancy from someone I know back in my hometown. They reached out, so excited to find out they were going to be grandparents and wanting to be involved, but I ignored them and continued ignoring them until two days ago when I replied one time,
I made it clear they will never know my child or be in our lives and that I wanted them to stop contacting me. This was all via email, by the way. Let me give some background. I have an older sister, Sam (28), and she had a best friend, Luna.
Sam and Luna met in pre-K and became fast friends. Luna was over at our house all the time, and eventually, she started saying really awful things to me and bullying me. She called me names, mocked me whenever I asked if I could spend time with her and Sam, threw stuff at me when she saw me, and even made a game out of spitting at me to see how many times she could hit me.
My parents knew, and they did nothing, but when I was 7, they sat me down and told me that Luna had a bad time at home and that even though she was mean, she needed us, and I needed to understand. They told me Luna was so important to Sam and that she would grow up into a better person if we didn’t abandon her.
She used to come along to extended family parties and dinners. I remember one time when my mom's side was all meeting up, and because my parents didn't say Luna was coming, we were a chair short for a bit. Luna took the chair and then said there was no room for me at the table, just like there wasn't room for me anywhere, and that I should cry in a corner somewhere.
My mom's family was horrified, and I started to cry. I was about 9 by then. My grandparents ended up leaving the table and getting one for just the three of us. They spoiled me while refusing to pay for a single thing Luna consumed. They also asked me what was going on, and I told them EVERYTHING.
Afterward, my parents got so much criticism from my mom's side of the family, and my mom's parents contacted my dad's parents, so they were shamed by both sides. When they had enough of that, my parents told Sam that Luna needed to come over less or be nicer.
They stuck to that for a while. My grandparents checked in on me weekly to see if my parents were "letting that spoiled little madam into the house to abuse me," and I think that was the only deterrent for my parents.
But when I was 12, my parents let Luna move in with us. They said her home situation was worse, that she was going to apologize, and that we needed to make sure she felt wanted and welcome with us.
I got a "sorry, I guess" from her, but I could hear her making fun of me to Sam whenever my parents weren't around. She laughed about how I looked betrayed when my parents told me she was moving in. She found it hilarious. I think you can see whose side Sam was always on.
I lived like that for a little over a year before it got to be too much, and I told my grandparents Luna was living with us. They went ballistic on my parents, and after weeks or months of fighting about it, my grandparents insisted I was going to move in with them.
My parents protested, but my grandparents said they couldn't be trusted to take care of me. My parents wouldn’t kick out Luna for me, so yeah. I lived with my grandparents for the rest of that time, and I actually live in the same neighborhood as them with my partner now.
I had zero contact with my parents once I moved in with my grandparents. These emails were the first contact in more than a decade. My parents keep replying to that one email. I got like four within a few minutes about an hour after I sent it, and they're telling me I'm taking this too far. They said Luna isn't even in the picture anymore. AITA?
Here are the top rated comments.
Ok-Preference-712 says:
Well well well the consequence train is right on time isn't it. Guess Sam took the kicking after you left. What is the saying f around and find out. Your parents have and you get to live a happy life without them.
Eastern_Condition863 says:
"They said Luna isn't even in the picture anymore." This is the part that rips my heart out. Luna isn't even around anymore and they still didn't contact you? That's effed up. NC forever.
Dependent_Pilot1031 says:
It took them 10 years to contact their daughter. What did they expect? They are not family anymore. NTA.
FryOneFatManic says:
I'm sorry you had to endure that. I'm glad your grandparents were on your side. NTA. Actions have consequences, and now they're finding out those consequences.