'I'm not staying the night at my new BF’s house with his pillow situation. AITA?' MAJOR UPDATE
"I'm not staying the night at my new bf’s house with his pillow situation. AITA?"
Okay, I (28f) went over to my boyfriend’s (25m) house for the first time (been dating about a month), and I had somehow never noticed his pillow situation before. When I noticed, I made a comment about how long he’s had the pillows and apparently he’s been using them since he was a kid.
So, I asked him if he had any other pillows and he said he just had the pillow on the left of the first picture, but that his cat usually sleeps on it. I said I don’t really want to sleep on those pillows, and I'd prefer to sleep at my own place (with clean pillows).
His response? He waited for a minute and then said he would be sad to see that I would choose something as small as pillows come between us spending the night together, but that if I needed to go, that he understood. I ended up going home and spending the night at my own house instead.
I asked if I could bring my own pillows and gently suggested he get rid of his. He said it was totally fine for me to bring a pillow, but that he wouldn’t get rid of his, as they are ‘sentimental’. Thoughts? I feel like I can’t even kiss him or anything while we’re sleeping because I don’t want him to get his gross pillowness all over me and my clean pillows. 😂 OP's pics of the stained old pillows
The internet did not hold back one bit.
Shibaspots wrote:
My first thought: what's so bad? It's the same color as my pillow cases. Second thought: Oh god. There's no case. THERE'S NO CASE! K-LL IT WITH BLEACH AND FIRE! ETA: I feel the need to add this. At the end, that's the sound I made.
SpookyStrike wrote:
lol! That was my thought too. I thought they were meant to be kind of tan/camel hair colored pillows. An actual camel is cleaner than these things.
Complete-Design5395 wrote:
“…He would be sad to see that I would choose something as small as pillows come between us spending the night together.”
You can just as easily turn that statement right back around at him. “I’m disappointed you’re choosing your sentimental nasty ass pillows over us spending a night together.” I’m pretty chill but there is no way I could sleep on those pillows. NTA.
Boomshakalasia wrote:
You’re definitely not overacting…. It looks like one of the pillows has a dick print on the 2nd slide 🤣
The next day, OP shared an update.
FAQ; bc this blew up Immediately and I couldn’t imagine keeping up with replies.
Does he know I posted this? Yes, I actually wrote this after we talked last night. And I’ve shown it to him since it blew up. Do they smell bad? Surprisingly? Not really. Just musty, which is surprising for us all.
Is he clean otherwise? Yes he is, which is why this was weird! His mattress is totally clean and newish and has a protector on it and he cleans his sheets when he does his laundry (weekly). So clean about his cat/litter too- no stray litter I have to walk over.
Does he wash his butt? As we have showered together, yes he actually spends a lot of time showering/washing himself. Comically so. Okay, I talked to him about this and he was totally willing to make some changes (especially after reading some of the comments lol) and said he wants to buy new pillows and bedding but that he didn’t know where to go.
Sooooo, we went on a little date to IKEA and got him a duvet, duvet cover, two new pillows and pillowcases. (I want to work on getting him sheets that aren’t navy blue, but one battle at a time.) It was very cute and we both feel really good about how we’re going to communicate in the future! The sentimental comment?
Apparently, he didn't know how to phrase it (but was still really respectful), but y'all were mostly right. They were one of the few things he took with him when he got kicked out by his parents when he was 15, so they are sentimental. However, we communicated that they could be sentimental ~from the closet~ and that he deserves to sleep comfortably (and cleanly lol).
The comments kept rolling in.
boredreader12 wrote:
Okay. But you haven't told us the reeeeeaallyy important part. has he managed to get his d-ck n balls print on the new pillows yet?
OP responded:
We actually are doing a memorial art piece for it. Need to find a big enough canvas tho.
YawnDogg wrote:
Please tell me you double tapped those pillows. They could rise from the dead and come for you guys.
OP responded:
We have not yet, it’s only been like a day! I genuinely want to see what they look like washed (not using anymore, but washed) and then from there encourage them to be put to rest.
Usual_Goal6957 wrote:
This is such a heartwarming update! Who knew pillow talk could lead to a mini IKEA adventure? 🛒 It sounds like you two are really working together on this, and it’s great he’s willing to make changes.
Plus, now he gets to keep those sentimental pillows in a nice, safe place while enjoying fresh bedding! Everyone wins! Here’s to cozy nights and no more musty pillows—may your future pillow fights be epic and clean!
Myywiferocks wrote:
This is the sweetest update. Good for you two!! You are an incredibly kind person. Your new BF is lucky, I sure hope he shows it.
OP responded:
Oh he does! He’s the sweetest 🥰
Subspaceisgoodspace wrote:
What a beautiful update. We never know someone’s whole story until we know it. So nice you communicated and found a great solution.