'AITA for telling my sister and my BF the inappropriate thing my BIL said to me?'
"AITA for telling my sister and boyfriend the inappropriate thing my BIL said to me?"
I (25F) live with my sister, Emily (27F), her husband Connor (25M), and their son Owen (1M) due to a variety of reasons, none of which are relevant to this story. The other night, my boyfriend Marcus (26M) came over to hang out and some athletic snuggling ensued. After Marcus had left, I heard the baby crying and ended up in the hallway with Emily and Connor after Owen was put back to sleep.
Emily had asked if Marcus was still in my room, and I told her no, he had left. Connor then says "Thank god, I could hear you downstairs with my noise cancelling headphones on!" I was, reasonably, embarrassed that he had heard anything and even more so mortified that he had said that in front of my sister. I apologized and hoped that was the end of it.
As Emily goes back downstairs, Connor turns to me and says "Don't be sorry, now I have something to think about the next time I pleasure myself" I tried to brush it off, as Connor often makes inappropriate remarks and I have always just ignored him in the past. I jokingly said "Don't you mean you'll be thinking about Marcus?" and he responded "No, Marcus is too quiet, I didn't hear him. I only heard you."
Connor then goes back downstairs and I retreat to my bedroom. I couldn't stop thinking about what he'd said and how uncomfortable it made me, so I texted Marcus to ask him if I was overreacting.
Marcus was absolutely FURIOUS. He wanted me to tell Emily, but I was hesitant, as I didn't want to make Emily and Connor fight. I told him I would talk to her in the morning, hoping it would blow over and Marcus would forget about it, but he texted Emily. Emily then came into my room, and I started crying, saying that Connor's comment had bothered me but I didn't want to make it a big deal.
Emily said that she would talk to Connor about it in the morning and make him apologize. I told her it didn't matter and it wasn't a big deal, but she insisted that he needed to apologize for it, especially since he has made inappropriate comments before and knows they make me uncomfortable.
The next day (11/14/24), I could tell something was tense between Emily and Connor, but I came home late, so I didn't interact with them much. Right before I went to bed, Emily asked me if Connor had apologized and I told her I hadn't even talked to him, so no. Today (11/15/24), I heard Connor and Emily arguing downstairs, but I couldn't make out what they were saying.
Eventually, Connor storms upstairs and I hear him say, "No, I'm not going to! It's not my fault that none of you can take a f*cking joke!" I know they were talking about Wednesday night. I knew Emily would be upset, but I didn't know Marcus would be so angry, and I didn't know it would cause this giant fight between Emily and Connor. AITA for saying anything at all?
EDIT: I hear them sleeping together REGULARLY. It seems like people think the issue is that we were heard, but the issue is what he said about it. They made a baby in this house, Marcus and I hear them all the time when we're just hanging out here.
What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:
magiemaddi said:
He's mad you didn't flirt back. He's mad he got caught. NTA but your sister deserves a husband that doesn't want to fuck her sister. Time to move out?
OP responded:
Currently in the process of house hunting. I wanted to move out as soon as he moved in, but money is always the issue.
SnooWoofers496 said:
NTA…He’s repulsive and that comment was heinous. ON ANOTHER NOTE - why are you loud fucking in ur sisters house like wtf, with their kid also living there, is that like a kink or something?
CuriousEmphasis7698 said:
NTA. The comment Connor made was no joke, it is creepy and predatory. You are owed not only an apology but a guarantee that he will get professional help for what ever issues made him think that behaviour was even remotely acceptable. Your BF is right to be furious and very concerned over this.
phoenixjen8 said:
“Especially since he has made inappropriate comments before and knows they make me uncomfortable.” Babes.. No. NTA at all. I hope y’all don’t have to deal with Conner’s dumbassery much longer.
And MindlessApricot8 said:
NTA. That was sexual harassment, full stop. There was absolutely no need for him to say that.
SnooWoofers496 wrote:
Girl, you saying all this sh!t and that man clearly heard you getting it on…lol that’s probably why the baby woke up crying.
OP responded:
The baby woke up crying because of a dog barking, I didn't think I need to tell the entire story of WHY the baby was crying. They sleep together here, I have heard them. THEY MADE A BABY IN THIS HOUSE, but I don't go around making inappropriate comments about it...Should I not be allowed to sleep with someone in my own house???
My BF also lives with his mother and a 3 year old, so we shouldn't sleep together at his house either???
Touché!