'AITA for intentionally giving my parents an invitation with the wrong time and address on it for my wedding?'
"AITA for intentionally giving my parents an invitation with the wrong time and address on it for my wedding?"
I do not talk much with my parents or my family. We all prefer it that way. Lots of history I will not get into. I especially loathe my uncles and my brothers. I met my wife in nursing school. She is amazing and we are going to have a great life together.
I didn't want to invite my parents and my wife was cool with that. We paid for everything ourselves so they didn't really have any say in the matter. I did inform them that we were getting married. They begged to come. I agreed on the condition that they couldn't tell anyone else much less add to our guest list.
I did not trust them. So I had the printers make up a few "test prints" with the wrong place and time. I gave two of these to my parents. I told them we were hosting with an open bar. I reiterated that they were not to tell anyone.
I had one of my cousins whom I love and has gone NC with his family babysit them the day of the wedding. They have a tendency to be late. I had him lie to them and say we were doing the formals first so they had to be dressed and ready to go early.
He got them to the church on time. The ceremony went well. They did not embarrass themselves by frantically calling everyone they invited. We did our pictures and they begged me to tell them the actual location of the reception. I said that wasn't happening. They were welcome to either come as guests or leave.
They left. My cousin drove them home. They tried to bribe him to tell them where the reception was. He says he laughed at them. None of those people know how to contact me so no flying monkeys.
But my mom and dad are upset because they got a lot of grief from people they told about the wedding. I know it was stupid to even invite them. Please don't rub it in. It was hard to see them begging and not give in a little.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Utter_c%ckwomble said:
NTA. My dad had to lie to his own sisters about the time if their mother's funeral, as they are consistently hours late to any function.
He told them it started at 9. It actually didn't start until 10:30. They arrived at 10- an hour after the time they were told to be there. For their mother's funeral! Keep in mind we're Catholic, so it's not like we could have held up the service for them- the church and the priest have schedules.
After my dad passed (yes we had to lie about his too) I just stopped inviting them to things. Baby shower from 1-4? They'd show up at 3:45 and be mad the gifts were opened and the food was gone. Last I heard most of the family had done the same.
Wide-Serve-1287 said:
NTA, and shout out to the hero of this story, your cousin! I love them for you.
No_Adhesiveness2480 said:
NTA. I wish I had lied about the time of my wedding but only to get everyone there on time. I was 20 min late to the ceremony because of my mother - we were traveling in the same car and she took forever to finish getting ready.
Then once we get there, we had to wait another 45 min to a hour for my mil and sil to arrive. I was fuming. It was an outdoor ceremony, it was hot and humid and about to rain, my feet were killing me.
My dad whose temper I inherited was the one trying to calm me down telling me everything would be okay. The pastor also needed to go deliver a sermon at his church, so he and to cut down on a lot and the whole ceremony lasted maybe 15 minutes. If I knew then what I know now, I would've walked down the aisle without waiting for them.
SlothLordMcMarekat said:
NTA. You were clear, any embarrassment they feel is entirely brought on by their own actions. And it doesn’t sound like revenge to me, just a way to include them while maintaining your boundaries. Your cousin sounds like a good person - glad you have each other. Congrats on the wedding!
blucougar57 said:
NTA. This wasn’t revenge. This was a case of very careful planning to ensure your day wasn’t ruined. Well done.
Sweet-Interview5620 said:
NTA you did the right thing you ensured they could be there to be part of your wedding. Instead they decided having their friends get drunk was more important to them and they chose to leave. That's fully on them and if they invited people and got embarrassed when you had told them not to, that’s also fully on them and their own fault, they have no one to blame but themselves.
They showed the world they didn’t care about their child’s wedding and saw it as a free party for their friends or not worth being at. They should be more embarrassed they showed everyone the people they truly are.
It’s not good and they don’t deserve to be in your life. Well played you ensured they couldn’t ruin your wedding, I’m just sorry as it must of hurt that they decided to leave, if they couldn’t turn it into their party at your expense.