This story is a doozy. Check out this wild story on Reddit:
I (23f) have been with my girlfriend (22f) for about 2 years. My gf has an ex girlfriend (let's call her Ashley). They are best friends now, after splitting up like 3 years ago. It just didn't work out.
Now, I never liked Ashley. I guess it's understandable. I'm a jealous person. I never made a big deal out of it tho, until 2 months ago. My gf spent A LOT of her free time with Ashley.
I was even about to bring it up to her somehow, in a polite way obviously. Well, my gf suggested a threesome while we were talking about our sexualities etc. Not only I'm not really sexually open when it comes to involving other people, but she wanted our partner to be Ashley.
THAT was when I made a HUGE deal out of it. My gf is all about communicating things and said she just wanted to be clear about her desires. After seeing my reaction and hearing about my feelings, we talked it through and she said she would cut contact with Ashley.
I know I may sound a little overdramatic, but I was only comfortable this way. After two weeks or so, I had to check my gf's phone. Ashley texted her a couple times, wanted to hang out etc but she pretty much ignored her. I was happy until I went through some older messages.
They apparently hooked up once, at the beginning of our relationship. I didn't handle it well, so I decided to block Ashley everywhere from my gf's account. After failing to contact my gf herself, Ashley texted me asking about her. For me, she seemed obsessed.
So, after a little bit of thinking, I decided to tell her my gf was dead. That's embarrassing and I trust my gf but I definitely don't trust Ashley after finding out how obsessive she is.
I told Ashley my gf got into an accident and died. She seemed upset but that's it. She didn't really ask many questions. But it was a relief. It crossed my mind that maybe it wasn't the brightest idea but I was not thinking clear tbh.
I also told her that my gf's accounts were deactivated and that me and her family want some privacy now. It worked.
Some old friend contacted my gf and sent her screenshots of Ashley's facebook posts. She apparently has been posting 24/7 about my girl and her death. Not only that, but she called her 'my love', 'my wife' etc multiple times.
She basically acted like they were still together for all these years. Even posted about their upcoming 'anniversary' with an old picture of them kissing. Really creepy.
My gf got angry when I told her the truth. She says it's all my fault that it's happening and that I should be the one to fix it. I don't feel guilty when it comes to Ashley's reaction considering she never asked about the funeral or anything, just went straight to facebook.
Seems like she just wanted some attention. My gf said she doesn't know if she's able to ever forgive me. I forgave her for cheating and I feel like it's not fair. Am I the asshole?
adrielbast writes:
YTA and made eversything worse pulling that stunt. Ex is creepily obsessive and idk if I trust your GF too much but what you did was unnecessary. Also going through a partners phone is kinda a red flag and a breach of trust. So idk if I trust you too much either.
daxxydreams writes:
ESH. You all are crossing boundaries left and right and, basically, being awful people to each other. OP, your relationship with your gf is unhealthy. She is not over Ashley, Ashley is not over her. You did not handle this well. It is time to get out and to seek therapy.