'AITA for kicking my fiancée out of the house?' 'She lied about being infertile.'

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"AITA for kicking my fiancée out of the house after finding out she lied about being infertile?"

My fiancée (30F) and I (33M) have been together for four years and engaged for one. Early in our relationship, she told me she was infertile due to a medical condition she had in her teens. I was fine with this, as I’ve never really wanted biological kids and figured we could explore adoption if we ever changed our minds.

Fast forward to last week. I came home to a positive pregnancy test sitting on the bathroom counter. At first, I thought she might’ve been helping a friend, but when I confronted her, she broke down and admitted she’s not infertile. She never was. Apparently, she lied because she thought I’d leave her if I knew she could have kids, since she knew I didn’t want them.

Here’s the kicker: she says she stopped taking birth control “a few months ago” without telling me because she wanted to see if I’d change my mind about fatherhood if it “just happened.”

I was furious and told her this was a massive betrayal. I feel like my trust in her is shattered. She argued that she did it because she loves me and wanted us to have a deeper connection through a family. I told her I needed space and asked her to leave the house.

Now she’s staying with her sister and texting me nonstop, saying I’m overreacting and being cruel by “kicking out the mother of my child.” Her family is also chiming in, calling me a deadbeat dad for “abandoning her” during pregnancy.

I’m struggling because I never wanted kids, but now one is on the way, and I feel trapped. At the same time, I can’t get over the fact that she lied to me for years and manipulated me into this situation. AITA for asking her to leave, or am I justified in needing time to process this betrayal?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

shammy_dammy said:

NTA. Cancel the engagement, show her the door out and get a lawyer.

babycherrry said:

NTA. She straight up lied to you about something big. Trust is everything in a relationship, and she broke that. You’re not a bad person for needing space to think things through. She messed up, not you.

Significant-Bobcat48 said:

NTA. wtf? This is SO wrong on so many levels. She’s baby trapping you and gaslighting you. You never wanted kids and made that clear. Not only did she lie abt being infertile, she lied abt still being on birth control. Leave her.

xladymeeow said:

NTA. She lied and trapped you, that’s straight-up toxic. You’re not wrong for needing space to process all this. Manipulation ain’t love, period.

WaryScientist said:

NTA - I was ready to say otherwise based on the title (example: I was infertile and have kids... infertility can naturally go down as a person ages), but she lied every day of your relationship and then baby trapped you...

I don't know the right term, but she essentially "stealthed" you by removing the contraception and not giving you a choice whether you'd take the risk of pregnancy or not.

Personally, I would flat out tell her I wasn't willing to be a part of the child's life and it's her decision whether she's keeping the baby to raise on her own or not because I would NOT be attached to that woman for the rest of my life.

annebonnell said:

NTA she betrayed you big time. I would recommend you relinquish all parental rights to the child, if you don't want children. Also, if you really do not want children get a vasectomy.