'AITA for kicking my mother-in-law out of our house?' 'She refused to call our son by his name.'
"AITA for kicking my mother-in-law out of our house after she refused to call our son by his name?"
My husband (34M) and I (31F) recently had our first child, a son we named Elijah. We put a lot of thought into his name, we loved the meaning, and it just felt right. My MIL (62F) had no strong opinions about it at first. She didn’t gush over it, but she also didn’t object. Or so we thought.
The first time she met Elijah at the hospital, she looked at him and said, “Oh little David you’re so perfect." I thought I misheard her, so I ignored it. But then she said it again. I asked her, “Who’s David?” and she just smiled and said, “Oh it just suits him better."
I was too exhausted from labor to argue, but over the next few weeks, she kept calling him David, texting us things like “How’s my little David doing today?” or “Give David a kiss for me!” I told her, firmly, that his name is Elijah. She laughed and said, “Oh, I know! But I think he just feels like a David."
Neither my husband nor I know anyone named David. It’s not a family name. There’s no sentimental reason behind it. It’s just a completely random name she decided to call my child, despite us telling her not to.
At first we tried to let it go hoping she’d stop if we ignored it. But it only got worse. When we FaceTimed her, she’d coo at him saying “Grandma loves you, David!” She even started knitting a baby blanket with the name David embroidered on it.
The final straw was when she came over for a family dinner and kept referring to him as David in front of everyone. My SIL asked, “Wait… why do you keep calling him David?” and MIL just laughed and said, “Because that’s his name to me.”
That’s when I lost it. I said, “No, his name is Elijah, and if you can’t respect that, you don’t need to be here." She rolled her eyes and tried to wave me off, but I wasn’t having it. I told her to leave. She looked shocked, but she left without much of a fight.
Now my husband is upset with me. He agrees that his mom was being weird and disrespectful, but he thinks kicking her out was “too extreme” and that I should’ve just let it go. MIL is now playing the victim, telling everyone that I’m “keeping her grandson from her over a harmless nickname."
Some family members think I overreacted. Others agree that her behavior was bizarre. I don’t know…was I really in the wrong for putting my foot down? AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Accurate_Mulberry_56 said:
NTA. Only call your husband by the wrong name for a week and see how he likes it.
All_Mischief_Managed said:
NTA this is hella weird behavior, and your feelings are valid. I also find it odd that your husband thinks you overreacted, but you literally just told her to use the correct name or to leave. It sounds like she made her choice and now she’s upset with you.
Trailsya said:
NTA. Your husband is annoying.
Pandoratastic said:
NTA. Start calling your MiL, your husband, and every family member who says you overreacted "David." All of them are "David" now.
Knittingfairy09113 said:
NTA. Remind your husband that his mom could have stayed if she respected the 2 of you as parents and used the correct name. She chose this.
twalk0410 said:
NTA. My MIL does that too! I hate when they think they own the baby.
StopSpinningLikeThat said:
NTA. MIL is completely out of line. Your husband is a coward. This is a HUGE red flag in your relationship. For him to not back you up on this is not ok and never will be. Please feel free to tell him I said he's an ahole.