'AITA for kicking a naked woman out of my grandma’s pool?'
"AITA for kicking a naked woman out of my grandma’s pool?"
This story happened 3 years ago when I was 16F, but my grandma still calls me an AH to this day, so I want other opinions. One hot summer week, I decided to plan a swim day with my friends, mixed group of guys and girls, at my grandma’s pool.
Her pool is super nice so she allows us to use it for friend hangouts if we ask her in advance. I took the steps to plan for a certain day, and she told me yes and that nobody else would be there.
I arrive to my grandma’s about 30 minutes before my friends to start setting up. Then, about 20 minutes before my friends were told to come, my grandma’s friends, a man and woman, showed up unbeknownst to anyone, even my grandma.
I don’t think much of it because I assumed they were just going to hang out with my grandma. The woman (65+?F) begins talking to me and asking about my plans. I tell her that my friends are coming over to swim so she starts asking about them.
The SECOND I told her there were boys coming, everything changed. Now, the conversation was about how overheated she felt and how she NEEDED to get in the pool. I started feeling anxious because I didn’t really want this woman to ruin my time with my friends, but I thought she would take a quick dip in and go.
Ten minutes before everyone was supposed to arrive, the woman started towards the pool. Then, to my absolute horror, she proceeded to take off ALL of her clothes and jump in.
During this, she kept yelling stuff about how “youthful and freeing” this experience is. I watched MORTIFIED as she swam around yelling, her old lady bits on FULL DISPLAY.
Overwhelmed by embarrassment, I broke down into a total 16 year old tantrum. I called my mom and was bawling my eyes out over the phone to her about what was going on and how embarrassing this was.
My grandma came in while I was on the phone and started yelling at me for being “immature” and kept saying that “it wasn’t a big deal”. My mom also told me I was being dramatic and to “suck it up”.
Then, my best guy friend showed up and tried to comfort me, but I knew that I was beyond comfort so long as that naked woman was still in the pool. Finally, I decided enough is enough and I told my grandma “either you kick your creepy, old, weird friend out of the pool or I will.”
My grandma walked calmly to the pool and told her begrudgingly to get out, and the woman did. She put on her clothes and went inside to my grandma and her husband right before the rest of my friends showed up, but not without telling me how “disappointed” she was that she couldn’t swim with us.
Three years later, I’m 19F and my grandma STILL brings this up every single time I try to invite people over to swim. Even though I would have handled things more maturely now, I still feel like it would have been weird to have the old naked lady swim with high schoolers.
Most opinions I’ve received in real life are extremely split, usually younger people agreeing with me and older folks agreeing with my grandma. So, AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
NTA. Older folks sometimes have a real hard time understanding how a woman can be a sex creep, and it’s always hard to think of your own friends that way, but that’s absolutely what your grandma’s friend was acting like.
Would she have equally annoyed if it had been the male friend insisting that he needed to get naked around your underage female friends? (Where was that guy during this conversation, anyway?)
NTA. While I think nudity is over sexualized and people should try to normalize non-sexual nudity, I also think consent is important. Your grandma made rules which you followed. Neither you nor your friends consented to seeing a naked old woman.
She would have been forcing you to be okay with it, even if she meant nothing sexual. Do I think you could have handled it better? Sure, but you were also sixteen and probably shocked by the old woman's behavior.
NTA. I think the woman swam naked to get a response from you. I think she wanted shock value and was hoping to do the same with your friends. It’s just inappropriate behaviour. Most teenagers would break down or be completely mortified by a naked old lady.
NTA: It seemed like the old gal thought she still "got it" and saw an opportunity to recapture her youth. This reminds me of when an old drunk 50+ male was angling in on my daughter at her younger brother's soccer match, and he came very close to the end of his existence. It's weird how we are more protective of our daughters than our sons when it comes to old pervs. Funny story, without a doubt.
I’m almost 40, so closer to your mom’s age. That’s creepy AF and also possibly illegal depending on the circumstances. A stranger exposing their genitals to minors is not normal. I get the unplanned timeframe made the situation awkward, but why are your mom and grandma ok with this?
What if it was the man exposing himself to a bunch of teenage girls? I know some countries don’t have the same laws as the US, where I am. But that was pretty inappropriate in a private pool setting.
NTA not only was it weird that this old lady wanted to be naked in front of you & swim that way with a bunch of 16 year olds but once she knew how upset you were the correct thing to do would have been to put her clothes on & get out of the pool. I think at my age (51) I would have wanted to kick her out of the pool if I had company coming over as well.
I think at the time you were 16 & you were emotional & panicking thinking about being embarrassed about your friends seeing this woman naked in the pool so I don’t blame you for how you reacted at the time in the moment.
I do however blame the adults ( mom & sorry but grandma) for seeing & hearing how upset you were & not protecting you a little bit more & immediately tell the lady now is not the time for this OP has friends coming over please get out of the pool & get dressed as you’re making her uncomfortable.