'AITA for kicking out a couple who brought their baby and toddler to my wedding?' 'I SNAPPED.'
"AITA for kicking out a couple who brought their baby and toddler to my wedding because I wanted a child-free event?"
This couple I’m not very close with but the wife is a long-time family friend so I felt that I should invite her. To be clear, all of my invitations stated that there were to be no children at this wedding. But she and her husband showed up with their infant and toddler (who I think is like 3-4).
At the actual wedding ceremony, I let it slide. I was preoccupied for obvious reasons. I also thought that maybe they planned not to attend the reception or to have someone pick the kids up before it started. (My niece, who was our flower girl, and a few other kids who had to be at the wedding for one reason or another we’re getting picked up/dropped off after the ceremony ended).
Anyway the reception rolls around (I’m fast forwarding through irrelevant details about the wedding but it was beautiful and everything went as smoothly as could be expected). The couple comes and, lo and behold, they still have their children.
I had many other guests and didn’t really feel like dealing with it so I asked our event planner to go over to them and discuss whether someone was picking up the child as the reception (and wedding, frankly!) were not supposed to have children.
I mean, everyone was drinking and loud and rowdy and a crying child and another little one running around was not part of the plan. (The infant already had to be taken out once during the wedding ceremony because of fussiness and the toddler was, from what I could see, already appearing cranky).
My event planner went to talk to the couple. I could tell they were arguing with my event planner though so I went over to help him. I think they thought I came to rescue them because they started going on about how rude my event planner was. I explained that I had actually sent him over to discuss the children. I reiterated that the event was child-free and said that I had stated so clearly on my invitations.
The wife gave a sort of apology and then assured me that they were capable of minding their own children to make sure they didn’t get in the way of anything. I said that wasn’t really the point. That’s when my now-husband comes over and he and the other woman’s husband begin going back and forth and things got a little heated.
Finally I snapped and said that they just needed to go, which, thankfully they did without much more noise. Still, the whole scene was incredibly embarrassing which is exactly what I wanted to avoid.
I really hate that my wedding day had to be somewhat marred by this incident. According to my mother, everyone was talking about it and I guess enjoying a little dramatic entertainment. Was I the a-hole for making them leave?
Here's what people had to say about this one:
AITA_guiltypleasure said:
NTA! I don’t understand why parents just don’t rsvp no if they are unwilling/unable to get child care ?!? I remember my parents going to weddings and other events without us kids and they never kicked up a fuss and tried to ruin the host’s time. Sorry you had to deal with the inconsiderate parents on a day that should just have been fun.
CanyouhearmeYau said:
NTA. They had the same notice as everyone else who actually honored your request. They knew the risk they were taking and still argued with your event planner. AND you let it slide during the ceremony.
Grouchy_Librarian343 said:
NTA. Honestly I get annoyed when people clearly lay out what they want for their wedding and people ignore it. Send a decline and stay home. Someone did this at my brothers wedding and he had me going around to move the kids off the dance floor since they were about to start the dollar dance...
...and another one that involves the groomsmen holding back men from trying to prevent my brother from reaching my sister in law and carrying her out (yeah I know). But then a kid got stepped on and the mother started going off and my SIL said and this is why we said no children.
Notmiefault said:
NTA. As someone with a kid, if an event was listed as child-free and someone else brought their kid, I'd be annoyed as hell - what makes them so special?
Interesting_Wing_461 said:
NTA. They probably figured if they just showed up with the children nothing would be said. You tried to have it handled discreetly but they blew it out of proportion.
JenicBabe said:
NTA they knew no kids were allowed and still decided to bring their kids anyway and when confronted still tried to argue against it and with the bride and groom? And the baby cried during the wedding ceremony are you serious? Nah they knew kids weren’t allowed but thought the rules didn’t apply to them.