'AITA for lawyering up against my ex who left for a Mormon mission knowing I was pregnant?'

"AITA for lawyering up against my ex who left for a Mormon mission knowing I was pregnant and 2 years later finding out his family is slandering me?"

My ex went on a Mormon mission leaving me pregnant (knowingly) two years later his family is still slandering me AITA for lawyering up.

Buckle in as this is a long one. When I was almost 17 I got in a relationship with H he charmed me and my family right away, we were both apart of the same church (LDS/mormon) and after a year into our relationship we planned to get married, he got me a ring and I was supposed to wait for him to come home from his mission.

During our relationship he was extremely emotionally abusive and would triangulate the dynamics between me and his family so I assumed his older sister didn’t like me and vice verse (this comes into play later).

There came a point in our relationship where I OD’d on pills because we had broken up and once I started going on dates with other people he got jealous and told my mom we were sleeping together and she therefore disowned me and he told me no one wants you here even your family hates you.

My mom ironically was the one that came to my apartment to talk that night (I lived by myself) and watched me start having a seizure, she took me to the ER and I ended up being in the ICU for heart failure. During that time my mom realized how he twisted the narrative, she even paid him to stop talking to me.

After I came home from the hospital (you know where this is going) I went back to him. He made me think no one would want me since I wasn’t a virgin and so I stayed. Soon after that I found out I was pregnant, we took a test together, he wanted me to get an abortion so his family didn’t find out. He instructed me to over dose on Vitamin C and I did but it didn’t end my pregnancy just caused me to bleed a lot.

After having thanksgiving with his family i broke down and told him I couldn’t lie anymore that either him or me need to tell his family im done lying. He then told his family and blocked me on everything. I was so confused on why i was blocked I texted his sister and allegedly he hadn’t told them i was pregnant at all.

I told her everything I sent her my pregnancy tests and said if they wanted me gone and to have an abortion then that’s fine they just need to tell me. I just wanted the nightmare to be over so i did anything my ex wanted me to, he baited me into saying i cheated on him and if I didn’t then he would block me again, as well my mom told me just to tell him i lied and then let him go as he told her he didn’t want to be a father. So I did but ofc he didn’t believe me.

We texted up until he did leave on his mission. Due to all my bleeding I thought I was having a miscarriage and so did my doctors, it was obvious by my scans my baby boy had severe genetic abnormalities and would not make it to term alive. I was so ashamed for being 18 and pregnant out of marriage I never went back to my doctor for my follow up appointment.

I kept bleeding slowly for a couple more months and eventually I wanted birth control so I went back to the doctor where they told me I had not had a full miscarriage and they were shocked I hadn’t went septic. I did severely damage my uterus due to the medical negligence on my part to the point where it was undecided if I would be able to get pregnant again.

My ex blocked me once I told him I was still pregnant and left on his mission. He was only in the field for about 4 months (out of 2years) before he came home. He has sent me flowers but I never reached out again. I am married now with my own beautiful baby, and I give talks about my experiences in teen dating violence.

So here’s where the title comes in. A person that watched one of my presentations knew my exs sister and reached out to inform them about what he did and said that she would be praying for them. His sister responded by calling me by name a pathological liar and how I faked everything refused to show any proof and that it ruined his family. She also took several more hits to my character.

And stated that me and H hadn’t slept together in months leading up to my pregnancy announcement (which is false and I have evidence). Since I lost my virginity with H we slept together every single time he was over (which was everyday for about a year.

It’s the only activity that he seemed to want to do as well he would take off protection. I got sent screenshots from the girl who spoke to his sister and I realized he had completely lied to me and everyone. I have in writing to H that he needed to watch his sister because if she speaks on me at all I would lawyer up and he promised that she wouldn’t (she hates my guts so I knew it was bound to happen).

It’s been two years since that whole ordeal and i am sick of having to talk to brick walls so instead of messaging them I lawyered up and got a defamation lawyer. My lawyer believes I have a strong case, I have a bunch of messages, emails and medical documents that prove his story is false.

As well his sister could’ve ignored the person talking about him as well the person who reached out didn’t even mention my name, she was the one that went the extra mile trying to damage my reputation.

It’s important to note I never mention him in my presentations or give identifying information, I own a non profit that helps women with legal fees and I once got interviewed only to realize that the photos I had at the time had him sitting or standing next to me so in order to protect his identity I edited one of my friends face on his so no one can tell we were affiliated.

Anyway My husband and close friends are on my side but others have said I’m doing too much and am gonna create a mess, I personally believe that this is the best way for the truth to come out.

Also, I hold a very influential position at my university and a lie like this can damage my credibility and jeopardize my position not even taking into account the amount of emotional distress this whole ordeal has caused me. I guess I have all of this to say AITA?

What do you think? This is what top commenters had to say:

PrestigiousTrouble48 said:

Never let anyone lie about you and risk your professional career. You know what you are doing is the right thing. Stop listening to people who think rug sweeping fixes abuse. Good for you for turning your trauma into a way to help others 👏❤️

DuckDuckWaffle99 said:

Blow it all up. Nuclear. Don’t give it another thought. NTA.

DreamingofRlyeh said:

NTA. Your ex is a bully and manipulator who left you alone when you needed support. He and his lying gossip of a sister deserve the embarrassment of a lawsuit. If your lawyer says you have a good case, you would not be wrong to sue

Patient_Gas_5245 said:

NTA, you need to go after her. Those stating you are creating a mess are saying that because they don't want to pick sides, they think it's in the past or they believe the sister. Either way, this is your life and you should put her on blast.

DobbysLeftTubeSock said:

Don't forget to request your lawyer send everything to their stake president, bishop, relief society, and elders quorum. Don't let them hide in their community with any feeling of safety and support.