'AITA if I leave my current job for dream one, knowing it could collapse a family's livelihood?'

"WIBTA if I leave my current job for my dream one, knowing this family’s livelihood might collapse?"

I’m a graphic designer from Colombia, and finding a good job in this field is tough—especially in my small town where creative work is undervalued. After college, I got lucky and found a job at a print shop. We make canvases, stickers, posters, business cards, and more.

The owner, a lovely lady, hired me, and I’ve been working here for three years. For the most part, everything was great—until about six months ago, when she decided to retire and leave the business to her son.

Let me tell you: this guy is the absolute worst. Calling him a despicable human being would honestly be too kind. Still, I stuck it out because I enjoyed the job and had built great relationships with clients. But things went downhill fast. He became ridiculously controlling over my designs and started buying the cheapest, lowest-quality inks and paper.

Naturally, the quality of our products tanked. Clients—many of whom I’ve grown close to—have been complaining nonstop. I’ve tried talking to him about it, but his response? "I’m in charge, so deal with it."

I’ve had enough. I started job hunting and found my dream job, something I’ve always wanted to do. But there’s a catch: they need me to start this Monday. And that’s where I might be the a$$hole.

Here’s the thing: I don’t just design—I’m also the printer operator. While finding another designer might not be too hard, not just anyone can handle these machines. The 3.2-meter-long plotter is extremely delicate, and the cutting plotter constantly needs recalibration. None of this stuff is taught in college.

When I started, the previous owner (bless her) paid for me to travel to another city for specialized training. She even covered my stay there for two weeks. I know the shop can’t afford to train someone like that right now, so if I leave, they’ll be in deep trouble.

I feel awful about potentially screwing over my old boss, but I can’t say the same for her son. He’s running the business into the ground, and I don’t want to go down with it. So, WIBTA if I leave my current job for my dream one, knowing this family’s livelihood might collapse?

This is a tough one. What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

dml91hokie said:

NTA. Think of it this way, if he found someone who said they could the job cheaper, would he keep you employed? You have more than paid back the investment that the previous owner put into you with the quality work you have done since the training. Do not let the opportunity you have been given get away.

If it helps you (fiscally or mentally), offer to help train someone else and/or work for some period a week at an adjusted rate (X per hour) if you trust that you will get paid. If you think you might not get paid, paid up front. And get this in writing with witnesses. Good luck!

OP responded:

Wow, I haven’t think of it that way and it’s totally true, if he could find someone to do it cheaper he would do it in a heartbeat, thank you. I forgot to say it in the post but I’m the only employee in the shop, he “manages “ so if I leave there’s really no one to cover and that’s why I was feeling guilty but this comment specifically opened my eyes.

moew4974 said:

NTA. The son is running the business in the ground because he doesn't value it. Just as he doesn't value you. It would be unwise for you to stay in this position because your reputation as a professional will be tied to this low quality product that he insists on producing and you definitely don't want that.

I understand that you will forever feel grateful to your old boss because she not only gave you a chance, but she invested in you. However, she's now gone and you have to do what is best for your wallet and your professional reputation. No one owes a company loyalty.

Especially not someone like her son. While she was investing in you, he should have been there to learn every aspect of the business before he took it over. Take the job.

OP responded:

That’s honestly the worst part, the clients know the quality of my designs and art and how great our products could be and now I feel so embarrassed every time I give them their orders, most of them are really understanding but as you said, it’s my reputation as a designer on the line.

pukui7 said:

"Calling him a despicable human being would honestly be too kind." You don't owe any consideration to this kind of person, or the family that put him in charge of you. The workplace you remember fondly doesn't exist anymore. Start your dream job right away. NTA

OP responded:

Thank you, I was feeling a bit guilty but the support here has been overwhelming and I’m more secure on doing what’s best for me 🫶🏻

Younggod9 said:

NTA. You’re not responsible for saving a sinking ship, especially when the captain is steering it straight into disaster. It’s admirable that you care about the old owner and the shop’s legacy, but her son’s poor leadership and disregard for quality aren’t your burden to bear. You’ve been loyal for three years, and now you have a chance at your dream job—take it.

The shop’s livelihood depends on how it’s run, not on you sacrificing your future for a toxic boss. Prioritize yourself and your growth.

fistinggremlin said:

NTA. A two week notice is a professional courtesy and if you don’t want to burn a bridge, you should honor it, but you also need to look out for your own best interests first. In this case, I’d say you owe nothing to the employer who is mismanaging the company and treating you poorly. That said, some caution regarding your “dream job” -

Why do they need you to start on Monday? Why can’t they allow you to provide your current employer the same courtesy and professionalism of a two week notice that they would likely expect if/when you leave them? What circumstances led to them needing to hire someone on such short notice?

Did someone leave the position abruptly? Why did they not have appropriate back up in place to allow for the time needed for a thorough hiring process and for the new hire’s transition from current employer? I would be highly skeptical of any company that “needed” me to start so quickly after I applied.

And OP responded:

Damn, these are really good questions, I guess I didn’t really explain it in the post but the hiring process has been LONG, almost theee months of interviews, prove of skills etc, they need me to start soon because the person that’s going to train me there is going on maternity leave in two weeks and they want me to be with her with as long as possible.

Also, it’s kind of my fault, when I started in the first interview I was really fed up with my boss so I said I would go to the new company instantly, so there’s that.

I also responded to another comment saying that my doubt and guilt came after I told my mom about it, she was happy for me but said she thought I should be more considerate towards old boss cause she gave me a huge change after collage and this business is her only income for retirement.

And zealot_ratio said:

NTA, their loss is the son's fault, not yours. If he hasn't planned for the contingency, that';s on him. Just because you're good at keeping a ship's sails trimmed doesn't mean you have to stay on it when the captain sinks it.

We'll keep you posted if there are any updates!