Struggling single mom LOSES IT when roommate throws out her newborn's formula; 'She says I'm poisoning her.' AITA?
"AITA for losing it on my roommate for trashing my newborn's formula?"
Infinite-Minute2004
I can't believe I'm posting this but I'm so angry and frustrated. I (20f) rent a room from my roommate (26f) dad. She is a single mother, I'm a single mother. I have a 12 week old baby who is exclusively on nutramigen formula.
For those who dont know nutramigen is really expensive and the WIC I get barely covers the cost of formula and the fresh food I'm alloted to get with WIC. My daughter is so colicky and has never been happy since she was born.
I know this sucks for my roommate and her own kid (who's 2) I do my best to keep my daughter calm and happy but her doctor said she's just an unhappy baby and will grow out of it. I had to put her in daycare at 6 weeks old and I currently work retail for barely above minimum wage (which is $7.25 in my state lmao) so it's been a struggle.
My roommate has some different parenting beliefs. Her kid still breastfeeds when they want to, she believes in delayed vaccines, is vegetarian but wants to go vegan with her kid, etc. a lot of woo-woo stuff, which if it works for her and her kid, great!
I literally stay in my room with my daughter 90% of the time because she tries to "convince" me that I'm doing things wrong. Like when my daughter spits up/projectile vomits or has a blow out, I should be giving her oatmeal baths instead of using baby aveeno type stuff lol.
To make a really long story short, she has never liked the fact that I didn't want to breastfeed my daughter. I tried in the hospital, and was told by a lactation consultant that it would be difficult, my daughter has a tongue tie and weak latch and formula would probably be best.
So, on to formula we went. The similac formula the hospital gave me gave my daughter bloody poops, so her doctor had me try nutramigen and yay, it was something she can keep down 50% of the time.
She still spits up or vomits and my roommate will make rude comments about how if I breastfed, she wouldn't be so sick. She says I'm poisoning her with formula, etc. I just roll my eyes and try to avoid her in the common areas of her house.
I get home today after working and my daughter is hungry, cry screaming her head off (daycare worker said she refused her last bottle at daycare and she threw up on the car ride home) and I'm looking for her formula cans and can't find them.
I just start yelling where is her formula because my roommate likes to change around the kitchen items like groceries in the pantry or pots and pans and it always stresses me out.
My roommate walked into the kitchen and said she got rid of it. I yelled at her, "What do you mean you got rid of it?" She yelled back that she couldn't stand to see me feed my baby poison any longer and had to do something about it.
She pointed to the trash can and I opened it up and saw the powder in the trash where she had just opened up the formula cans and dumped them. I just lost my mind and screamed at her and told her she needed to replace my daughter's formula right now.
Her dad pays her bills and he makes an extra $600 a month off me not including utilities. I don't have mommy or daddy's wallet to live off of. She started yelling back at me that I couldn't talk to her that way in her own house and I had to go.
I grab my daughter who is still in her carseat and start going to my room where I can lock the door and my roommate grabbed the carseat handle and tried to yank my daughter away from me.
I yelled at her again to not touch my daughter and ended up locking us both in the room. After I calmed down a bit, I ended up calling my mom to see if I could borrow money to get my daughter more formula until I get paid next week.
I explained everything to my mom and I got angry all over again. My mom asked why did I yell at my roommate and I should have "kept my composure" better and said I get what I deserve if I end up homeless with my daughter lmao.
I don't know any more. I don't think I am, but my mom sure made me feel like one. I gotta get out of here for both our sakes. AITA? I know i should have "kept my legs closed."
My daughter's father pays $150/month in child support and sees her once a week. It isn't much but I'm grateful for what I can get. I don't need people online calling me names. I feel bad enough for my situation and the fact that I brought a baby into this world when I wasn't prepared.
My daughters doctors office gave me 4 sample cans of her formula before they closed, which will last us a few days. I will be calling my WIC case worker in the morning too to see if she can be of any help.
The police report has been filed. They suggested I call the national domestic violence hotline as well. I'm waiting to see if any of the shelters in my area have space for us both. Otherwise, I'm gunna have to take money I don't have and get a hotel room because I can't stay here any longer.
I called my roommate's dad again and explained every thing. He said he can't help me because he has to look out for his daughter first lmao. He said if I dont pay rent on the 1st of December he's filing eviction papers.
I'm ready to say good riddance anyway to be honest. I'm tired and scared and angry. I have to go to work tomorrow and try and figure all of this out on my own. I can't even call out if I wanted to because if I call out, I don't get paid and I need the money more than ever right now.
I'm going to see if her dad will take her for a day or two but I'm not hopeful on that either because he's never had any real alone time with her. If it weren't for the court ordered child support he wouldn't pay any thing at all.
One women's shelter won't have space for us until the weekend, but the worker I spoke to said we have a spot available as soon as it comes up. Here's hoping I can survive wacko roommate for a few more days and maybe get my money back for the all formula she wasted. 🤞🙏
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
Nvnv_man
Go file a police report TODAY. This is theft, for sure, tampering with food, and given that it’s WIC, it might be a major fine. Talk to the police about your situation, ask for resources for new mothers in dire straights.
Given that you’re in a hostile environment with a newborn, they’ll likely find you qualify for battered women’s shelter (free). They will provide you with formula. In no world are you the AH. But take steps to protect you and your child, IMMEDIATELY.
Impossible-Cap-7150
NTA. That formula is expensive as hell and she had absolutely no right to touch anything of yours, much less completely make it unusable! You had what I consider to be a totally normal reaction. And yes, you definitely need to get away from this person asap.
ChaoticCrashy
Call the police immediately. Report the crime of the formula in the trash. Ask for help, as there is help available. Protect your child from this woman. It’s your child and your duty to protect her. NTA.
Infinite-Minute2004 (OP)
i called her doctors office to see if I could get extra formula when my mom told me off for losing my mind on my roommate. They're gathering what they can give to me and I'm going to file a police report too. I gotta get away from this nut case.
Pretty_Goblin11
Dude call your landlord and tell him what happened. Demand she pay for new formula. You're NTA. You handled it well because when I was your age and someone tried to grab my baby or messed with my babies food we would have big problems.