'AITA for making sure that my brother and his wife were locked outside my house for 3 hours?' 'They can be selfish.'
"AITA for making sure that my brother and his wife were locked outside my house for 3 hours before I got home?"
Back story: I love my brother and his wife. They’re great—gregarious, popular, lovely people. But they can also be selfish and thoughtless in ways they don’t seem to understand. A couple of months ago, they moved to Manchester from London, where I live.
My partner and I made the long drive up to visit, planning the trip weeks in advance. We could only stay one night. When we arrived, we went for a drink at their local pub, then back to their place for a braai (a South African BBQ).
Rugby was on, and they had a friend over to watch, so we spent the evening drinking, eating, and watching the game. I’d hoped to talk more, but they went to bed early. The next morning, we woke up planning to suggest breakfast and a walk around Manchester. Instead, we got hit with, “So what time are you leaving?”
We stalled before asking what time they needed us gone, and they said, “By 10 a.m. We’re meeting an old work colleague we don’t know that well.” They added it’d be “weird” to bring us along. So, feeling expelled, my partner and I left, had breakfast alone, and walked around before driving home.
The whole thing stung—our visit didn’t seem to matter. The braai and drinks were clearly happening with or without us. I later brought it up and got a lukewarm response, which hurt more.
Fast forward to a few days ago: They came to stay with us for one night because we were all attending a show (though not sitting together). After the show, traffic was crazy, and we exited at different times. I phoned to ask where they were so we could meet up. Their response: “We’ve ordered an Uber and are heading back to your place. We’re ahead of the crowd.”
I was stunned and said, “What the f? No. You have to wait for me.” They argued that waiting would delay them for hours. I replied, “And I won’t be stuck too?” But they jumped in their Uber and left.
Furious, cold, and stranded in a weird part of London at night, I called my partner, told him what happened, and asked him not to let them in until I got home. He was appalled and agreed. Instead of pretending to be asleep, he happily played his game, ignored their knocking, and waited until I arrived—three hours later.
It took me that long to find an Uber after getting on bus after bus to edge closer to home. When I finally arrived, the sh$% they gave me was intense, but I was too tired and angry to engage.
They stormed off to bed and left the next morning without saying goodbye. At first, I felt fine about it, but now word’s gotten around, and I’m wondering if my “revenge” was too much. So, AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Ireland1169 said:
NTA. They are bad host's, worse guest's, they left you in a dodgy part of London by yourself and are then offended by having to wait until you got home. They don't see you as family or even a friend because you don't treat anyone like that.
You were an inconvenience to them in their home and not worth the wait in the Uber to help you get home safe but they are upset over waiting outside your house. Just don't contact them, they won't notice your missing from their lives.
llama_llama_48213 said:
I am offended on your behalf. How rude! And they didn't need to wait outside your door for 3 hours, they could have gone somewhere else. If I'd been tired partner and you'd l they'd come back without you, they'd have been kicked out. NTA.
sugarsyrupguzzler said:
If you all arrived in the same car together, then NTA. If you all arrived separately I don't see the big deal about leaving separately too.
WesternBasis2305 said:
NTA they should’ve held the uber for you or communicated a spot for you to meet with them, they were okay with leaving you stranded for hours but its an issue if they’re stranded.
Regardless, two wrongs doesn’t make a right but they’ll get over it. Sounds like you all need to communicate better ahead of time when making plans (if you ever do make plans with them again).
Longjumping-Lab-1916 said:
NTA. I don't see the "lovely" in these people. I see selfish people who have no clue how to maintain a relationship with you. Or maybe they just don't want to. It's pretty obvious you would expect to meet up with them after the concert and travel back to your home together.
They were willing to ditch you so they could get home faster. WTF? How did that work out for them? Just as it should have. Good on your partner for ignoring them.
stoned_introvert420 said:
NTA. You leaving them waiting for a couple hours was by far a lot nicer than I would have been when I got home. Especially after they started talking crap when you did get back, HELL NAW.
princessofperky said:
NTA, they've established multiple times now they don't actually care about you or have interest in your well being. I'm sorry. But act accordingly.