'My male boss is clueless about pregnancy. He got angry a coworker can't predict their due date.' UPDATED 3X

It's wild how many adults are clueless about basic anatomy.

"Male boss is clueless about pregnancy."

OMG this just now happened at work. My boss is male. I have a male coworker in the next cube whose wife is pregnant, and is due within the next few weeks. Boss is trying to make coverage plans for this guy to be out of the office when the baby happens.

The boss literally tried to write the guy up because he "wouldn't" tell him exactly what day the delivery would happen.

I wouldn't have believed it if I didn't hear it with my own ears!

Commenters did not hold back.

bulldog_blues wrote:

I... what... how?! Has this guy literally never interacted with someone who's pregnant or the partner of someone who's pregnant before? In his entire life? It doesn't bode well for how he'd treat any other unpredictable circumstance either.

ellasaurusrex wrote:

When my mom was pregnant with me (back in '86), she was working as a paralegal. One of the attorneys asked her IN ALL SERIOUSNESS if she could just delay giving birth until "after this big case is done." My mom looked him dead in the eye and said "I feel so sorry for your wife." Dude had three kids.

Efferentcopy wrote:

I assume he's in the club with the rest of the dudes who think we can just 'hold in' our periods.

bulldog_blues wrote:

I... what... how?! Has this guy literally never interacted with someone who's pregnant or the partner of someone who's pregnant before? In his entire life? It doesn't bode well for how he'd treat any other unpredictable circumstance either.

Hectorguimard wrote:

One of my male coworkers kept suggesting I schedule a C-section for my first pregnancy for no other reason than to avoid inconveniencing the company with my unpredictable delivery date.

I was like, ummm absolutely not because a) it was a super healthy pregnancy without complications so why would I need a C-section, and b) because I don’t think elective c-sections for first pregnancies are even a thing where I live.

Of course this man is child-free and doesn’t have and friends or close siblings who have kids, so he’s totally ignorant on the issue and didn’t believe me that it wasn’t common practice to just schedule a c-section for fun.

galateainthedark wrote:

My old boss was upset because my coworker’s wife had her c section scheduled on truck day. He could not fathom that a scheduled c section doesn’t necessarily mean you can pick the exact day. He thought truck day was more important than the doctor’s/hospital’s time, her due date, the health of the baby, etc.

He convinced the poor guy to work in the morning and then he can drive his wife to the hospital. She went into labor the night before and ended up needing an emergency c section. “Does the baby not know it’s truck day?” became a running joke.

HappyCamper43 wrote:

I was like a month or so from my due date when my old boss was like "so you can probably work till October?" (4 months out) he knew how far along I was and I was massive at that point. I laughed and said I wasn't an elephant (long pregnancies) even though I looked like one. We had a few coworkers around and we all had a good laugh about it, boss included. He was a decent boss though.

A few hours later, OP shared an update.

Holy s**t. The idiot dude just did it again. He finally got it into his head why my coworker can't name the specific date when his wife will go into labor. Now he's trying to save face by being sympathetic with Mr. Father-to-Be. Our office breakroom has a private "mother's room" where women can go pump if they need to.

Mr. Boss dude said to the father dude, literally, that he was sorry there wasn't an equivalent father's room. The dude legit thought that the mother's room was for an exhausted new mom to go nap. That one just earned him a march into his (female) boss' office. I'd love to be a fly on that wall.

The comments kept coming.

ioantha wrote:

I realize that not all s#x education is created equal, but damn.

Does Boss have kids? A female spouse? Does someone need to buy her a drink and see if she's okay?

OP responded:

He had an ex-girlfriend. Probably a reason for the "ex".

quadcats wrote:

This reminds me of Warren Hamilton, the state senator who was just recently asking his fellow legislators why it’s OK to have abortion exceptions for the “m*rder” of ectopic pregnancies. Shouldn’t those children be allowed a chance to grow up too 💀

baconeggsnnoodles wrote:

Did you tell him that the father already did all the pumping required of him?

MarlenaEvans wrote:

My husband's female boss who had had a child did this. I was due November 14. In September she scheduled a meeting for November 14. My husband let her know that he was going to start paternity leave on the day I had the baby so he wasn't sure he'd be there. She kept saying "Oh she'll have the baby late, everyone does."

I had my first two babies on their due dates, just went into labor that day. So he told her he couldn't guarantee that. She kept telling him not to worry, I would definitely have the baby late. Guess who woke up in labor at 1am on November 14? Me. And guess who was flabbergasted because"everybody has babies late"? My husband's boss.

Bonezone420 wrote:

It really does highlight one of the big problems with how men view pregnancy and motherhood though, they so often think women - especially new and expectant mothers - just take breaks all the time and nap instead of getting back to their lives as soon as possible on top of taking care of the majority of child care and healing from nearly being split in two - whether naturally or surgically - in many cases.

A day later, OP shared another update.

Several of you asked for further updates about my idiot boss who, in the space of one hour yesterday revealed that he thought pregnant women could predict the exact date their delivery would happen...revealed his belief that our office's Mother's Room was for napping, not pumping.

After #2 was revealed, he was immediately called into the (female) grandboss' office so she could set the record straight. Their meeting took about ten minutes, and then he came back into our work area. Guys. It got so much worse from there. I had to delay posting this update until I found out what the final result would be.

He starts by admitting to everybody there (mostly male, I and one other person in the room were female) that he had misunderstood the purpose of the mother's room. OK, so far so good. Then he took out his metaphorical shovel and started digging his hole even deeper. Turns out he also misunderstood the concept of lactation.

The dude literally thought that all women are always lactating, all the time. As in: the breasts come in, the milk comes out, regardless of any woman's pregnancy or birthing status. And then. Oh. My. God. The dude literally POINTS TO MY CHEST and says, "I mean, look at hers! Hers are really big, she should be in that room all the time but she's not!"

One of the men in the room immediately gives him a forceful "shut up!" I follow up with a spontaneous performance of four-letter beat poetry that would melt my phone if I tried to type it out. One of my coworkers immediately went out to fetch the grandboss again. She got back into the room and escorted him out.

We didn't see him the rest of the day. I got to the office this morning and saw his personal items boxed up on his desk. Grandboss has already informed me that my now-ex boss will be coming to collect his items later today, and she gave me the opportunity to be elsewhere when he arrives. Nope. I'm going to be here to watch him get fired. This will be glorious.

The internet was fully invested.

Redgrapefruitrage wrote:

Just wow! I spit out my coffee when I read that he thought women lactated 24/7. Then...to point at your chest! He didn't just dig a hole. He jumped into the hole and buried himself alive.

Grapejuiceboxing responded:

It's so crass and stupid and I'm sure if I was in OPs position I'd be horrified, but like.. this is so f#$king funny??! It's like he received a little bit of information and he just took it like a baton and ran. I wish I had a fraction of his confidence in life 🤣

queen-of-support wrote:

OMFG! He is so clueless. How does he walk and breathe at the same time?

MLeek wrote:

Oh Lord. I almost feel badly for this guy, and how profoundly his early education failed him. Almost.

Thank you for sharing this glorious ending.

Hours later, OP shared another update.

He came through just now to collect his box of stuff. He was escorted into our office by grandboss and our building's security guard. I was looking straight at him all the way through, trying to gauge his state of mind. He looked appropriately humiliated. At one point he locked eyes with me, noticed my shit-eating grin, and looked like he was about to say something.

Mr. Male Coworker in the next cube (the one with the pregnant wife, whose interaction yesterday started this whole thing) had a video queued up on his desktop. At that exact moment he hit "play."

It's an eight-second clip of my hero George Takei, who said the only words that needed to be said to this guy. He slumped, defeated, and slithered out of the building with his escort. Once he left the room, all of us just burst out laughing. It's going to be a great weekend.

The comments kept flowing in.

Conundrum415 wrote:

That clip of George is not at all what I expected, but 100% appropriate!

OP responded:

It's an edited version of a video he recorded a while ago, in response to some anti-gay politician out in buck-nowhere Oklabama. Perfect use case today!

aster_4208 wrote:

I can only hope that your ex-boss gets some much needed sex education and reflects on his behavior. Women always lactating after breasts growing in is a new one for me!

Chazkuangshi wrote:

I absolutely love the whole...idea that we lactate constantly, even if we've never had a baby. And that we just sit in it??? Does he think the bras catch it? Does he think we have boob catheters at work until we can go home and get in the milker properly? Do we empty em out and pour it down the drain any time we go pee?