Man ban's cheating brother's wedding to his ex, 'we were together for five years.' AITA?
"AITA for not supporting my brother's relationship with my cheating ex and not attending their wedding?"
I (25m) broke up with my ex (24f) three years ago after she cheated on me a bunch of times. I didn't know she was cheating for a long time but I caught her while she was out with her friends and I was out with mine. One of her friends spilled that she'd been hooking up with random guys in clubs every time she went out with them. I broke up with her that night.
We'd been planning to move in together and had been looking at places while she was cheating on me almost every week. It was a huge deal for me. 5 years we'd been together too and I loved her but I don't believe she ever loved me.
My family knows what happened and it surprised them as much as me. My brother (26m) had a long time girlfriend when I was with my ex and when we broke up. They broke up last year and then he started dating my ex. I didn't like it when I found out and I told him I felt like he betrayed me. He told me to grow up and he said he didn't owe me anything.
My sisters (22f and 29f) are on my side and think he's bad to date her but the rest of the family are like maybe she's grown and it's not great but let's not fall out over this. I have never supported their relationship and a few weeks before Christmas they announced they were getting married and sent out wedding invites for March of this year.
It's a backyard wedding and my brother asked the whole family to help pull it together. I told everyone I'm not going or helping and my sister's joined me. My brother's pissed. Our other two brothers (24m and 28m) and our parents are like please don't do this.
My brothers think I'm being sh$%y to the other brother and should just let it go and be happy for him and let him get egg on his face when she cheats on him and be glad it's not me. My brother told me he'd support me. I asked him how he'd like for me to find his ex and marry her and he was like that's different and their breakup was different.
I told him he was marrying the woman who cheated on me and he doesn't see why that would piss me off. It's a whole thing but I'm standing my ground, as are my sisters. The rest of the family are doing everything to change my mind. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
wishingforarainyday said:
NTA but your brother is a major one. I wonder if they cheated while you were still in a relationship. It might be worth a conversation with his ex to see what she knows. Plus it would piss him off that you talked.
Your parents and brothers are jerks too for supporting his garbage behavior. I hope they all see these comments. Why would they expect the person who was hurt be the bigger person and be a doormat?!
Cursd818 said:
NTA. Tell the rest of your family how disgusted you are by their behaviour, and that it makes you question how many of them have loose morals and would betray their family or cheat on their partners.
Because that's the ONLY thing they're doing. You haven't torn anything apart. Your brother trashed your family, and everyone siding with him is also trash reconsider whether you want anything to do with such despicable people going forward. And your sisters are awesome.
Final_Figure_7150 said:
NTA. Your brother needs to understand that he's marrying a woman who hurt you and betrayed you deeply. He cannot expect you to accept this and just move on like nothing happened - he can't have it both ways. Also - how crass from your ex to even consider dating your brother, let alone marry him. Such a messy situation.
Away-Understanding34 said:
NTA...he already told you that he didn't owe you anything so that means you don't owe him anything either. He can marry the trash if he wants but he can't expect people to be happy about it. Also, they only started dating last year and are already getting married? I don't see this lasting, especially given her history.
Cheew said:
NTA. In the infamous words of your own brother, you don't own him anything.
AnonymousVex7676 said:
NTA, but tell your brother to "just get over it" plain & simple. On their wedding day go out to eat with your family & speak nothing about it.