Man asks if he was wrong to expose brother for wanting to track his fiancée's phone.
Is it against bro-code to snitch on your brother? Or do some people deserve to have their bad behavior exposed?
Reddit user u/Throwaway5144311 didn't approve of his brother secretly putting a tracker on his girlfriend's phone and refused to help him with the technology. When his jealous brother wouldn't take no for an answer, he simply put him on speakerphone and let him bust himself.
Now, he's asking the internet, 'AITA (Am I The A**hole) for putting my brother on speaker and letting his fiancee hear about what he's been asking me to do?'
He writes:
Context: I, m23 am what ppl call 'tech savvy'. I know like a bunch of stuff about computer programing and mobile software (yes I even got the right looks to match my skills lol) but srsly...I consider myself good since plenty of people come to me for help...for free of course.
So, Lately my brother, m27 has been asking me to install a tracking app on his fiancee's iphone. like..he had brought it to me twice and I refused after he tried to pressure me to do it. He even offered money but I refused bc I felt it was kinda wrong and also, I only help out ppl who only want to be helped and like... don't have bad intentions.
I also refused bc his fiancee doesn't deserve this. I thought he had dropped it after I told him that if he asked me again then I'd tell her. Well, coupla days ago, he calls me up while I was at my parents' home. His fiancee happened to be there too.
I answer the phone and he brings up the tracking app again. I put him on speaker and be like 'Sorry, come again?' he says ' It's about the tracking app I want on (fiancee's name)'s phone. I need you to do it tonight when I stop by with her phone' he proceeds how he could no longer lie about her phone missing when he hides it and brings it to me. Basically telling me this was the 'last chance' he's got to put the app on there.
My parents go silent but his fiancee looks shocked then goes off on him and then he hangs up and she grabs her purse and rushes out. My parents lash out at me asking what the heck I had done. I tell them he refused to get off my back after I warned him. They cuss me out saying I just caused a huge problem between my brother and his fiancee and stuff like that.
I grab my stuff and leave shortly. Later my brother was calling nonstop and when I gave no response he sent a nasty text calling me names and stuff then saying that I might've just compromised his entire relationship. I haven't seen nor heard from my family or him since then. I feel terrible ngl and like I really messed up by putting a private convo on speaker. so Reddit, AITA?!
If you don't want to get caught doing something wrong, maybe don't do it? Reddit users all agreed that OP is 'Not The A**hole' for putting his brother on speakerphone in front of his parents and fiancée and letting him bust himself for his sneaky, controlling behavior.
They applaud him for letting this fiancée find out the truth about the man she is about to marry. Why the parents took the brother's side is anyone's guess. Maybe he inherited his a-hole genetics from them.
Not only are you NTA, You did not do something that you knew would be the wrong thing to do, even while facing pressure from your family to do it. That's really difficult.
You saw a red flag and made sure a woman in a potentially vulnerable situation saw it too. By letting her hear the words from his mouth (rather than just letting her know what he was asking of you), you were able to sidestep the whole 'who are you going to believe?' question that might have arisen. You did good here, kid.
Yeah after the first time dude could have straight up went to the fiance and told her and been NTA.
NTA. This is what I came here to say. He’s trying to blame OP as if he’s not the one who started the whole thing. Playing the victim when he did it to himself. OP specifically said he’d tell the fiancée. It’s not OPs fault his brother didn’t believe him.
To add: From Harry Potter: 'It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends. I, therefore, award ten points to
Mr. Neville Longbottom. OP!!!' What you did wasn't easy, bravo!!! NT
·You didn’t compromise his relationship. He did that by asking you to help him track his fiancée. He is upset you shared a private conversation about him invading her privacy. Your brother is a creep. She realized that thanks to you. NTA.
NTA. Your brother is an abuser. Your parents are enablers. You're lucky that you somehow managed to acquire a set of ethics. Your family may be mad at you, but you absolutely did the right thing. You may have saved your brother's (hopefully ex) fiance years of abuse.
NTA. This is a major sign of controlling behavior. I'm so glad that poor girl was warned about it. This gives her the opportunity to run.
Holy shit are you ever NTA, bud! Your brother is. And your parents are. But you're a goddamn hero is what you are. You didn't 'cause a huge problem'; your brother did, and frankly I hope you saved his fiancee from getting hitched to that manipulative bastard at all. Yikes.