Man 'doesn't acknowledge' girlfriend's 'equity' in the house they live in, 'she lost her job.' AITA? UPDATED

"AITA for 'not acknowledging my GF's equity' in the house we live in?"

I (38M) met my GF (32F) 7 years ago when I was looking for a house. At the time, she was working for a guy who did custom carpentry and we were introduced by a mutual aquiantence who I told I wanted to redo the kitchen in the house. She and her boss did some work for my kitchen renovation.

We remained in touch and about 5 years ago, we started dating. About 3 years ago, she moved in. We maintain separate finances at my insistence (I have two kids). I pay 100% of the mortgage, homeowner's insurance, HOA fees, and any maintenance costs that arise. We split groceries and utilities historically.

About 4 months ago, my GF lost her job. She has been looking, but has not found anything. She has been paying most of her expenses using savings. About 2 months ago, I was reached out to by a realtor. There is an older couple originally from the area looking to move back.

They looked at another house that was for sale in the neighborhood, but they saw my house on the outside and really loved it. He said they would be willing to pay a premium. I let them do a walkthrough and they made me an insane offer. After talking to my GF, I accepted. We are now looking for a new place.

My GF has approached me about collecting on her "equity" when the sale is finalized. I thought she was joking, but she was serious. I maintain she does not have equity in the house. She thinks she does because of what work she did in the kitchen during the renovation and helping maintain the house.

She was paid for her renovation work, it was before we were dating. The maintenance she does on the house is cleaning and occasionally unclogging a toilet and/or changing the smoke alarm batteries. I do not think that is grounds for equity in the house. AITA?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

Mother_Search3350 said:

She is crazy. She wants equity in whose home? She is jobless and homeless and doesn't even pay rent Cleaning up after herself and buying food for herself in a house where she is living rent free does not by any stretch of the imagination give her any equity. NTA.

ogo7 said:

NTA. She clearly has no equity in the home. She would have to clean and unclog toilets in an apartment if she was renting one, that wouldn’t make her part owner.

BeachinLife1 said:

No, she does not have equity in your home. You are not even married. She has not put any of her own money into the house. She has no claim on your house or any equity in it.

RP2020-19 said:

NTA. She might just become your ex...because she has shown you who she is and when people show you who they are, you believe them.

PlentyHopeful263 said:

NTA. She only pays food and utilities. She isn't paying rent. The kitchen was a job done by the company she worked for, and she was on the crew. Her paycheck during that time was what she was owed.

Forward-Wear7913 said:

NTA. You need to take this as a warning. She thinks your money and property is her money too.

UPDATE:

Well, I found out the reason she wanted the equity is because she wanted to leave the relationship. About eight months ago, she had asked me if I would get a vasectomy reversal and consider having kids with her (I have two already). I told her "no." She apparently wants kids now.

After that conversation, she started planning her exist strategy, but then lost her job. She thought I would give her at least a little bit of equity. If I gave her 5% of the sales price, that would be enough for her to leave.

Well, after learning all this, I broke up with her. House is set to close in the next 30 days so my now ex needs to find a new place by then. She has limited funds and asked me for a loan and/or to spot her some money. I refuse. So, that is where we stand after everything.

Here's what top commenters had to say about the update:

SnoredCosBored said:

Glad you got your answers. Now this can be a real fresh start in a new house without any of it reminding you of your ex.

SweetHoneyPie1 said:

She wanted equity in the house but ended up with a no equity relationship? She’s trying to cash in on the wrong investment.

Sebscreen said:

Good for you. Your instincts were correct, and she was trying to manipulate you to benefit at your expense all along.