'AITA for canceling our wedding?' UPDATED x4
"AITA for canceling our wedding?"
We have been engaged for 3 years. My fiancée went on a trip of a lifetime for 6 weeks in Europe. She decided that we would take a break in our relationship without allowing me any input in the decision. I called her the day she left, and she had me blocked, so I canceled our marriage and her moving in with me in March.
She called me today to inform me of her arrival time on Thursday morning, to which I answered, 'What does that have to do with me?' And I have since blocked her.
I should explain better. I was fine with her trip with her old college sisters. In fact, I dropped her off at the airport and saw her to the boarding gate. That's when she dropped the whole break thing on me. She didn't explain it, just told me matter-of-fact and left.
I called her for the rest of the day and tried to call her whenever I was able to throughout the rest of the week. After 5 days of ignoring me, I had enough, and I decided that the wedding was off. She can move in with someone else because it's not going to be me.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Canceled wedding fees are much cheaper then a divorce lawyer & court costs.
She blocked you for six weeks to go to Europe on a break so she could b&^g people! I am so sorry that happened to you. I would have broken up with my partner if he blocked me just because he goes on a trip. If she wants to be free before the marriage she will do it again. Not wrong.
Yeah, I took a solo trip to Europe again this past fall for three months and didn't block my SO. I talked to him as much as I could because, idk, we love each other and I wanted to share with him?
She was definitely just trying to have some European hookups. If she was going to some sort of quiet, soul-searching retreat she would have been clear about that, but instead she chose the most immature shit in the world.
Dude this is so juicy. I need the update ASAP
2 days OP came back with this update:
We have a group chat among people close to us. Today, I informed them all that our marriage is canceled and our relationship is over. I did that around 10 am. The chat quite literally exploded, starting with questions about what happened, which I answered honestly.
Around 2 pm, she started asking me to call her so we could discuss this. I told her that talking on chat is perfectly fine, but she said no, this is something between just us. I still have not spoken with her; the last message from her was at 6 pm: 'Please pick me up at the airport so we can talk this out as we planned.' I answered her, 'That was your plan, not mine. None of this was my plan.' Her flight is at 9 am. I wish her luck.
Extra Context:
She said for the duration of the trip, we are taking a break from our relationship. Got angry and asked her what the hell does that mean. She said we would talk about it when she got back. She waited till she was boarding to tell me about the break part. I was okay with the trip until then. She was going with 5 girls from college.
Then OP came back with this second update:
First off, I got my ring back, and it's safe with my mom. Secondly, I would like to thank everyone for keeping me grounded while I was doubting myself. I'm not sure who said it, but someone said that I shouldn't bother with what she did on her trip and focus on her breaking up with me at the airport.
Which I did and was not what she was prepared to argue about, so now she knows how it feels to be blindsided also. Seems her college sisters told her I would be insecure and fight about something I couldn't hope to prove.
So when I didn't she didn't know what to do. At one point, she excused herself to go to the restroom and didn't come back for 20 minutes. Seems the brain trust was at a loss, too. So, do you vacation any ideas?
Then a 3rd update:
Spoke with her parents last night. Woke me up they must have forgotten about the time difference between coasts. They offered to pay for couples therapy to help us work through this rough patch as her mother called it. Told them no thank you. She ended our relationship. \
She told them a watered-down version where I am overreacting. I told them exactly what happened. She made it out that while on vacation, she would be unavailable to communicate with. Where I told them exactly what was said.
I checked to see if I was still blocked on her socials. And amazing yesterday, she posted 30 pictures from her trip. And had a full recap of what they did and saw. The pictures are of places, in France, Italy and Spain. Most are group shots with all 6 of them, like tourist style one. And others are churches and museums and a few shops. All are during the day, like a tour or something.
Finally a 4th update:
It's funny how a woman can do creepy stalker shi^ and it's fine. But a guy does the same thing, and he is straight going to jail. Baffling to me. She is leaving letters for me with people she knows I will interact with. Like the security guy at my building. With my receptionist at work.
The letters themselves are little more than pleading with me to not throw us away for nothing. And professing her love for me.
Q&A with OP:
Noys_23 asks:
Did she call you again?
OP responded:
She is blocked. But keeps asking in group chat for me to please call her.
Noys_23 responded:
I get she understands that she destroyed the relationship
OP responded:
She is starting to take a beating in our group chat. Seems the shock has worn off and our friends are realizing how f%^#ed up what she did really was.
Noys_23 responded:
Exactly what she deserved
OP responded:
She keeps apologizing but not what she is apologizing for. She can't even defend herself without making it worse, which would be funny if it wasn't me on the receiving end of this cr%p.
If she doesn't drop out of chat group, our friends are really starting to give her sh&t about it. She keeps saying she is sorry and that as soon as I am ready to talk and work through this, she will be waiting.
She confirmed that she ghosted me. Since she apologized for it on our group chat last night. She is spinning that she was getting nervous about the wedding and wanted some time off to think.