"AITA for expecting a better gift for my 50th birthday?"
First, OP posted this:
I don’t know why 50 bothers me. Didn’t care about 30 or 40. But 50… just seems, well, the damn proverbial “hill.” I guess I look at the endgame trends of my parents and relatives and think, that’s not far off.
Time goes so fast and it just seems like a few years ago I graduated college, but here we are nearly 30 years later. I know I’ve done a lot in life, though mostly just career-wise, but can’t help think I really haven’t done much. Not a pity post — just letting my inner monologue vomit online. Anyone else feel that way? Thx for reading!
Then, about 3 months later, OP posted this:
Turned 50 yesterday. Husband (53M) woke me up, told me he had a surprise for me downstairs. I go downstairs and see a vacuum, not even wrapped mind you. He said he thought I’d like a new one since the current one doesn’t have the ability to turn off the brush roller when using on hard floors. I never asked for a new one. It works fine.
That was my birthday. Not even a lunch or dinner out. He mentioned a month ago about doing something special and going on a trip. I asked about that and he said he figured I’d tell him when and where I wanted to go.
He never asked where but did mention several times over the past month he had a surprise for me. Apparently it was a vacuum. We’ve been married 17 years. AITA for hoping or expecting that maybe he could have planned and surprised me with something?
Anything? Something more than an Amazon next day delivery vacuum? When he turned 50 I took him to Hawaii. Maybe I’m just being hypersensitive. Turning 50 has been a hard number for me. Parents and grandparents all passed in that decade.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
I’m so sorry. Do you need bail money?
Brilliant_Log_7354 said:
Re-gift it back to him on the next occasion that calls for gifts.
I told my kids when they were young and my partner, never to buy me anything for my birthday or mother's day that has anything to do with cooking or cleaning.
Shells613 said:
NTA. But you need to tell him your honest feelings about this, not the internet. And have a bigger, honest conversation about your relationship. I doubt this is the first instance that you are unhappy about.
BonusMomSays said:
NTA. You need to have an honest conversation with your hubs. "Today was my 50th birthday. A milestone. A month ago you mentioned a trip to celebrate. For your 50th, I surprised you with a trip to Hawaii. I saved and planned for months for it.
You ordered me a vacuum, that I dont want, two days ago. No trip. You cannot be bothered planning anything. You were waiting for me to tell you where we were going? So, once again I am expected to do all the planning and organizing in this relationship - this time for my own birthday.
If I am going to do all the work, I might as well just go by myself. And be by myself. Why are you here? Do you even like me?" That is what I would say.
CandylandCanada said:
No excuse can justify this. You are not overly sensitive; he's underly sensitive, thoughtless and lazy. No one who has been taken to Hawaii for a milestone birthday (or any birthday) could possibly think that this is appropriate. Tell him to find out whether it has an intimate attachment, because he's going to need it.
Mindless-Damage-5399 said:
NTA. My 97-year-old grandmother still talks about the time my grandfather bought her a bunch of cleaning supplies for Christmas 60 something years ago.
romuloskagen said:
NTA, obviously. Grab his credit card, call a friend, and head to Vegas.
Effective-Suit1544 said:
NTA - I would ask him if he could return it? I was really excited for my 40 th birthday and hinted shamelessly all the things I wanted. I got an iron! I returned it. I really let him know what I thought and told him I was so disappointed that he never had to do anything for my birthday again.
He said birthdays weren’t important to him. I told him they were important to me. I never did anything for his birthday’s again. We are not together anymore.
Take yourself to Hawaii, and leave the vacuum in the living room.