Man gives GF an ultimatum: 'if you don't like my dog, you can kick rocks and be single.' AITA? UPDATED
"AITA for telling my gf that my dog stays with me, and if she don't like it, she can kick rocks and be single?"
I took my dog from a shelter when he was 4 months old and since that day we became inseparable. I choose him without hestitation and the fact that he don't have an eye and a paw for me was a bonus because when I went to choose a dog, I was at the lowest point of my life. My parents died in a car accident and I couldn't find a reason to live without them.
So when I went to the shelter and saw him I cried and chose him. For me, we are 2 broken souls and his 2 missing things represents my 2 attempts of self-harm. In my mind, we compensate each other and we are made to be together. My dog is a Great Pyrenees and he is my furry best friend. Over the years, we built an amazing relationship and became unseparable. I even installed some cameras in my house, so when I miss him I talk with him and play with him, and a system to give him food and water if i must stay late at work.
My dog is a sweetheart and absolutely loves treats, cuddles, kisses and especially belly rubs hahahah. He is my everything and i know that it will sound absurd but he is the most important person on this earth to me and no one will be more important for me. (He is 5 now).
When I met my gf I clearly told her about my dog and after a few years I told her about my special bond with him and that he is very important with me. She said that it was very cute and in 3 years they are doing well and my dog starts to trust her.
Now the issue is this: A few days ago we were talking seriously about living together and we were looking for some houses near our work and near to the center of our city. We were there talking and searching when she saw this house that costs a lot but it already have a few more rooms for possible future children, a pool, and 2 studios for our work.
We were there talking about it and if it was the right house for us when I jokingly said "yeah it's a very nice house and I like it. For the future children, we will practice with Frankie (my dog's name)." She laughed but then said "obviously your dog don't come with us because I don't want a dog in our future house. For how sweet and cuddly he is, Frankie can't be in our house." This time I laughed because I was 100% sure that she was joking but when I saw her serious face, we started arguing.
We argued for like 2 hours and I finally said "my dog will come with me anyway because he is too special for me, and I refuse to abandon him." Again we argued and again I said "listen my dog comes with me, and if you don't like it, you can kick rocks and be single because I'm not leaving my Frankie."
She walked out of my house angry and it's been 2 days that she isn't talking to me but I won't change my mind because like I always say, "my dog saved me and I like to think that he is my furry angel." So AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Gonebabythoughts said:
I’m not sure why she thought you would get rid of your dog, but I agree that you shouldn’t be with someone who doesn’t understand what Frankie means to you.
whatsmypassword73 said:
NTA, just as well you found out now, frankly I wouldn’t trust her near my dog again. Frankie and you need to walk together.
knowledgemedia said:
NTA. You two have a bond that is immeasurable in how much you two mean to each other and is basically a family member to you and no one or nothing should come between that. It feels like she went along with him being there and when she found an opportunity to get rid of the dog, she took it. You made the right choice.
Don't ever compromise getting rid of an animal because someone else doesn't want it around, because obviously they were just placating you until an opportunity arose to not have the dog around anymore.
DevilsKnight8 said:
Nta my old dog had a similar impact on me. My house was robbed amd dog was abused in the process, I was at school. The girl i was seeing at the time said i should get rid of my dog cause of the situation. I laughed at her and said she would be gone before the dog. Actually you can go now. My girl (dog) was with me for 9 more year got to meet my wife and step kods and helped me prepare and raise my son before her passing. Keep the dog ditch the woman.
SweeperOfChimneys said:
NTA, anyone that treats animals as disposable isn't a good person. You dodged a HUGE bullet there. Enjoy your new single life with your furbaby.
JudgeyMcJudgey123 said:
NTA. This woman is bonkers for thinking you'd just abandon your dog.
UPDATE:
So I talked with my gf and we broke up officially. The most hurtful thing is that she was serious on leaving my Frankie to a shelter or simply to abandon him because (quote) "I never felt safe with your dog around. He is actually a sweetheart but I can't trust him when we are alone because he is big, and he can hurt me anytime."
I told her that it was absolute nonsense since when me and Frankie are out in the park, the kids pets him and gives him kisses without any fear and he loves it. So there was no way that he could hurt her. Again we argued and finally she told me about a past trauma that she had with a golden retriver that bit her and since then, she always struggled to trust dogs.
I told her why she didn't told me this before and that we could work on it and be sure that Frankie would never hurt her. She deflected my question and again told me to choose her or my dog and i choose my dog obviously.
So we broke up "friendly" without shouting, screams and tears, because we understood that we weren't compatible. She said that she understand my special bond with my dog, but due to her trauma she can't live with him because of her fear. We wished each other the best and now I'm at my home rubbing Frankie's head and giving him some treats.
The thing is: I understand that she has this trauma, but we could work things out if she told me about this. Really I would love to help her and show her that Frankie is an absoult sweetheart and if even kids are not frightned or fears him why she should?
I'm thinking at this non stop because it's just absurd that she never told me before or even mentioned it. Then i can understand that Frankie's size could be a "problem" but in 3 years together he never hurted her, was never too cudly and never even chowed her things like he always do with mines hahaha.
So yeah the situation is this and sincerly it leaved me spechless and with many doubts but then I look at my Frankie and everything just disappears. Thank you all for your love, sharing your thoughts and your kind words. Me and Frankie really appreciate it and we wish you all the best.
Here's what top commenters had to say after the update:
Working-Hat4932 said:
You would have thought after being around Frankie for the last 3 years this would have helped. But the fact she kept her resentment of Frankie a secret until you started talking about moving in together is insane. Having a bond with your dog is so important and I struggle to understand how other people don't understand this?
Enough-Fix5469 said:
It turned out for the best, I'd say. You and Frankie are a packaged deal, especially with the bond you two share, pretty much saving each other. If someone can't fully respect that. It's their loss, not yours. Take him on a car ride, the park, and get him his favorite treats.
Shoesietart said:
Your ex made a pretty horrible assumption that you would get rid of your dog, without discussion! She doesn't seem rational. After being around your dog for years, she really thinks you're just going to get rid of him? She's never seen threatening behavior, knows he's an important part of your life, and without any explanation, thinks you'll just get rid of him?
If he had a history of aggression, bad behavior, poor toilet training, or something similar I could see her not wanting him in a new household. Pets should be considered permanent. When you get a pet, you're making a commitment to care for it until its death.
Exotic-Army4006 said:
Honestly she should have done research on the breed. A guardian breed is one of the best out there. They bond with their "stock/people" and will always protect them. It would actually be a good breed to help someone get over trauma.
At our facility we have personal protection dogs in training. We had someone with a fear of dogs, overcome it dramatically by working in our programs. Once they felt that control in their hands, it was easier to process the trauma.
Jumpy_Onion_6367 said:
NTA it wasn't about Frankie it was about control. You escaped a crazy situation. First I would have been Frankie then a certain friend/s next hobbies finally your family until you were isolated. I honestly think her trauma was fake and a hail Mary.
bwehtehbwun said:
I don't get why she decided to have a relationship with someone who had a pet. I know people who treat their pets like their actual children, they would cry over. I know I do, I miss my little guy all the time.
I understand she has trauma but she could have worked on it, or gotten therapy alot sooner for it then let it hinder her. It's upsetting she'd want to get rid of the dog after three years. Each to their own at the end of the day. NTA. Give lil Frankie some treats!