'AITA for not fronting a plane ticket for my DIL because she doesn't pay people back?'

My DIL is upset I didn't front her money for a family trip despite her being notorious for not paying people back.

Due_Loss_2450 says:

I am going to retire soon. I work at the airport, and the job allows me to have cheaper flights. My wife asked me if we could use my discount to go on a family vacation. Over the holidays, I informed all the kids and their spouses that we are going on vacation and they are welcome to join. They need to give us the discounted prices of the tickets, and the rest is paid for by us.

Later that month, I informed them over the group chat that they need to give the money by the 30th of January so I can buy the tickets on the 31st. I got everyone’s money besides Jenny.

Jenny is my daughter-in-law and has a habit of being late to events and other things. I gave her a call on the 29th, and she never answered. I bought the tickets, and Jenny doesn’t have a ticket.

My son does have a ticket since he gave me the money a while ago, and according to them, they have separate money. I never heard back from Jenny until now. We are leaving this Friday.

She was asking what time the flight was. I told her I thought she wasn’t going since she never gave me the cash. She doesn’t have a ticket. This is where the argument started. She is calling me a jerk for not buying her a ticket, and I told her this was a hard deadline.

You didn’t send the money, so you either don’t go or pay full price. You are an adult; you need to understand deadlines, and I am not chasing you around. She called me a jerk, and the family is torn. They agree it’s her fault, but I could have been nicer.

OP provided an update:

I asked my daughter if she knew what was going on with those two. According to her, they pay separately for things, and my daughter-in-law apparently has a habit of saying she will pay back her husband and doesn’t when he covers for her. He told her he wasn’t covering her; she thought he was bluffing. He wasn’t.

OP answered some questions:

JackSucks says:

NTA (Not the A%^&ole). You know you are fine to buy tickets for people who paid and you specifically reached out to her and got no reply.

Yet, you post here saying your family says you should have been nicer. What does that mean? I don’t have great context about what you said to her or about her to other people.

OP responded:

They think my delivery could have been more gentle even if they agree it’s her fault, or I should have tried harder to contact her.

RoyallyOakie says:

INFO: I'm just curious as to what your son makes of all this. Did you at least remind him that his wife hadn't paid?

OP responded:

He hasn’t shared his opinion to me about it. I know the couple is arguing due to my daughter.

SaltyBabushka says:

NTA. The audacity of Jenny as a DIL to expect FIL to pay for her ticket! Also, DIL was disrespectful for not respecting your time by not paying by the deadline you said and on top of that not responding to calls!

Why is your family torn?! Unless they don't have respect for you. Your son is the one everyone should be upset with. Why didn't he remind his wife unless he didn't want her to go or secretly wanted her to learn a lesson without him being the bad guy I wonder.

We aren't obligated to be nice to people who are inconsiderate of our boundaries. She is a grown adult and expecting her FIL to foot the bill is not only narcissistic behavior but entitled.

In my case when my in laws plan vacation and pay for everything up front, if the need a portion my husband pays for both of us and he can take it up later with me (although he doesn't). We also have separate finances but I think that if the status quo in your relationship is that DIL pays her portion directly then she was aware of the rules but chose to disregard them and that's awful.

50Bullseye says:

Just curious but what’s the difference between the discount rate you paid and the full price she’d have to pay now? Either way, NTA. I’d suggest that anyone who has a problem with how you handled this can help pay for her ticket out of the money you saved those ungrateful a-holes.

OP says:

She will need to pay around 450-500 due to the trip being this week, I got the tickets for around 300. Originally the tickets were like 400. It’s a 25 percent discount.

What do you think? Was OP right to make his DIL pay full price?