Man refuses to 'donate' to dream wedding for a friend he's 'not a fan of.' AITA?
The cost of attending a wedding can add up, especially with destination weddings and bachelor/bachelorette parties becoming 3-day events...
So, when a conflicted wedding guest decided to vent to the moral compass of the internet about whether or not he'd be wrong to refrain from donating to his wife's friend's crowd-funded dream wedding, people were ready to weigh in.
"AITA For Refusing To Help Fund My Wife's Friends' Wedding?"
My (35m) wife's (35f) friend (36f) is getting married in a month. My wife is a bridesmaid. I am not a fan of this friend.
But that's just me, so I'm gonna move on to the real issue. This friend wants to have her dream wedding (according to wife) but is a little short on money. My wife had told me that friend would like some donations and if I was okay with her donating about $3,000 (?) In usd.
I told her no. She accepted my decision but my friends are saying I'm an A$@hole because donating wouldn't affect my financial standing. I'm now wondering if i was actually In the wrong.
Reasons I don't like said friend: When my wife and I were dating, she always encouraged her to leave me and that "she could do better."
Has made many remarks about my physical appearance (I have eczema so my skin can get dry frequently.
Also I itched a lot as a kid so I have bruises and cuts on my fingers and arms.)
Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this one:
roseofjuly said:
It honestly doesn't matter whether you like the friend or not; you don't have to "donate" money to anyone for any reason, especially not for discretionary spending like a wedding.
If she can't afford the wedding she wants, she needs to have the wedding she can afford. It's absurd to ask family and friends to donate money to fund your wedding - especially thousands of dollars! NTA.
princessCarbonite said:
NTA. This "friend" of your wife sounds like a peice of work. This her wedding not yours and your wife's wedding. If this person wanted her dream wedding she should have saved more money for it. You are not a bank for your wife's friend. Stand your ground.
No-Personality5421 said:
Nta. If she wants her dream wedding, then she can save up for it and pay for it herself. A lot of us have dreams that we actually need to work for.
MirMir-Siwar said:
NTA, how entitled is your wife friend. If you can’t afford your dream wedding wait till you can afford if or do a cheaper wedding . I would never ask a friend for money for a wedding no matter how rich they might be.
Rattivarius said:
NTA, no matter how much money I had I wouldn't contribute to the wedding fund of someone I loved, never mind to someone I didn't like. I firmly believe that parties should cost within the host's means.