Man refuses to let his parents live with him after they 'loaned' him money to buy his house. AITA?

"AITA for refusing to let my parents live with me after they 'loaned' me money to buy my house?"

About a year ago, I (29M) bought my first home. My parents generously offered me $20,000 toward the down payment, which they framed as a gift. I was extremely grateful, as they knew I’d been saving for years and wanted a place to call my own. I’d even invited them to celebrate with me the day I got the keys, and everything seemed fine.

Fast forward to three months ago: my dad lost his job unexpectedly, and my mom’s part-time work isn’t enough to support them. They called me up one day and casually mentioned that they’d be “moving in with me until they get back on their feet.”

I was stunned, as they’d never asked—they’d just assumed. When I hesitated, they reminded me of the $20,000 they’d given me for the house and said it was time I “paid them back by helping them out.”

This was news to me. They’d repeatedly assured me it was a gift, no strings attached, and that they were just happy to help me achieve my dream of homeownership. Now they were calling it a “loan,” even though there was never any mention of repayment, let alone interest, or expectations of them moving in someday.

I was hesitant but willing to talk about it, and I suggested they stay temporarily. They dismissed this and said they’d be moving in indefinitely “until things turn around,” adding that they’d expect full access to the house and even suggested taking over my office as their bedroom. They also told me they’d like to have more say in how I run my home—after all, “they helped pay for it.”

Feeling cornered, I explained that while I love them and would gladly help in other ways (like paying some of their bills temporarily or letting them stay for a set period), I wasn’t comfortable with them moving in indefinitely. This is my home, my sanctuary, and I’ve worked hard for it.

They were furious, saying I was “ungrateful” and that family should support each other. They also claimed that since they “invested” in the house, they’re entitled to live in it as long as they need. My dad even hinted that he’d take me to court if I didn’t “pay back” their “loan,” though I’m fairly certain he was bluffing.

Now, several family members have weighed in, saying I’m the ahole for turning my back on my parents after they helped me buy my house. But I feel like they changed the terms after the fact, and I don’t think it’s fair to demand indefinite housing when that was never part of the deal. So, AITA for refusing to let my parents move in after they “loaned” me the down payment?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

Odd_Connection_7167 said:

NTA. It sounds like there is something pretty significant that's missing here. How did your father go from being able to give you $20k a year ago to being on the verge of homelessness three months ago? I get the feeling that there is more to it than just losing his job.

Regardless, if you let them come through your door, they will never leave. I don't know what's going on in terms of the dynamic between you and them, but they sound like they are very manipulative and entirely dishonest.

Gohighsweetcherry said:

Don’t let them move in. DON’T LET THEM MOVE IN. You will regret it. They will never leave. Think about it. Always there. Changing your home until it’s there’s, until you get so fed up you’ll want to pack and leave. They gave you the money as a gift and now they mismanaged their finances are reframing it i.e lying that they ‘invested’ in your home. BS. Don’t let them move in. NTA.

78october said:

NTA. Were your parents required to sign a "gift letter" when they gave you the money? If so, remind them that you have proof that the money was a gift and their court case would fail.

JstMyThoughts said:

NTA. They have already told you they intend to take over the house. You will be paying for it all, and grudgingly be allowed to stay in "their" house as long as you follow their rules.

They will never leave until they die. Do NOT let them move in- even for a weekend. If you receive any mail for them, return to sender immediately with "incorrect address" so they can’t use it to claim residency in court. Talk to a lawyer. ASAP.

KittyMeow1969 said:

Yikes! This is a bait and switch. Other commented have given some good advice and whatever you do, don't let them move in. NTA.

AwayBid9705 said:

NTA. The money was a gift. I vote "no" on paying it back. Your dad threatened a lawyer? No worries. Talk to a lawyer yourself.You can probably resolve this for less than $5000, which is far less than paying back the $20K you don't have.