Man tells friend, 'I won't miss the next one' after he missed her wedding. AITA? 'She doesn't speak to me.' UPDATED
"AITA for telling my friend 'next time then.' After I missed her wedding?"
We are childhood friends. We have a brother-sister relationship. This gal married at age 23 for the first time. Her husband was a nice guy. Good looking, good character...they got a divorce after 1.5 years because my dear friend wasn't feeling it anymore.
After some time she found someone else (no she wasn't cheating). This guy is someone I approve of too. Sadly I got sick and hospitalized just before the wedding and couldn't make it so she and her husband visited me.
We had some laughs and she said: "I wish you were there with us too. I wanted to have my 3rd dance with you." (context: 1st dance is for the groom, 2nd for the father and 3rd is for the brother if bride has any).
To lighten the mood (note that I was under heavy medication) I blurted out:" Don't worry. I won't miss the next one." After I said her husband was laughing on and she slapped me and left. A week has passed and she doesn't speak to me...
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Dipsh$tistan said:
I'm gonna give you a pass because 1) you were medicated and 2) it's a funny line.
lilhappypumpkin1020 said:
NTA, it was funny. She slapped you. That is not ok everyone is kinda glossing over that. I would count that friendship over if it was me. No matter how insulted you may feel hitting someone is wrong.
You were heavily medicated and recovering she should be thankful you or the hospital dont press charges. Taking into account the staff didn't see what happened and report it.
shalashaska68 said:
NTA, not the nicest joke you could have came up with, but damn she goes from zero to 100 pretty quick. IMO slap is reserved for the harshest of comebacks, and she added a 2x multiplier lol.
If you really want to salvage the relationship, apologize for being insensitive under the influence of heavy medications, but she has to at least show some form of regret or remorse in order to get past this.
Mission-Bet-5035 said:
ESH. You shouldn’t have made that joke as it was obviously a sore spot for her. But she sucks too for slapping you. That was an overreaction. If you value the friendship, just apologize for hurting her feelings. Did you actually think she’d get married a third time?
If so, maybe re-evaluate why you think that. As you say, you don’t think she’s responsible for the first divorce, so why think that this marriage wouldn’t work? If you don’t value the friendship, then just let it be. Btw. It doesn’t matter if the husband laughed bc your friend wasn’t laughing.
sucrevodkababe said:
NTA. It sounds like you were trying to lighten the mood while on heavy medication in a pretty vulnerable situation. Your joke wasn’t malicious it was just a lighthearted way to acknowledge that you missed her big day. Her husband even laughed, which shows he didn’t take it personally.
Thistime232 said:
ESH. That was an asshole comment, being heavily medicated makes it somewhat better, but doesn't completely excuse you. That being said, your comment doesn't justify her slapping you, especially while sick in a hospital.
UPDATE:
My friend contacted me and invited me for drinks. They were back from their honeymoon and we went to a pub we frequent for another round of celebration since I missed pretty much everything.
We both apologized to each other, me for the joke and her for slapping me. I asked about the silence they told me it was a combination of both being abroad for honeymoon and feeling awkward after the slap. She admitted found it funny after she cooled down.
Her husband found the joke hilarious apparently but he made me promise to pay the alimony if they get divorced so now; I have motivation to make this marriage last as long as it can. Aside from that, everything is cool. We got to have the dance I missed too.
Here's what top commenters had to say about the update:
Ready-Zombie5635 said:
Thanks for the update. I remember you posting this. Glad it worked out. Sounds like her husband is a cool guy too. Nice!
MarsupialMisanthrope said:
You and your friends are totally TA for being reasonable people and depriving us of weeks of ever escalating dramatic twists and turns in the saga of nutcases by communicating like actual adults. What is this world coming to? I’m glad you guys patched it up. Best of wishes to all of you.
Beneficial-Ball8375 said:
I really like this update and I really like her husbands remarks. He's funny, kill him last.
cremebruleebaby said:
It sounds like you and your friend were able to work things out after the initial misunderstanding, which is great to hear! Your ability to share a laugh about the situation and even participate in the dance you missed shows that you both value your friendship.
pie_12th said:
How wonderful, a group of adults worked out their problems in an appropriate way! How novel! I hope it's a growing trend :) I'm glad you guys could all end up laughing about this.
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