Man tells off future SIL for insulting wife's body; says, 'it was disgusting.' AITA?
When is everyone going to learn that commenting on other people's bodies, regardless of whether of not you think it's a "compliment" or "advice," is probably not going to end well?
So, when a frustrated man decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As%hole' about whether or not he was wrong to defend his wife against his diet culture-obsessed future sister-in-law, people were ready for the gossip.
"AITA for telling off my soon-to-be sister-in-law after she was mean to my wife?"
For the past two days, my wife [37F] and I [47M] were visiting my wife's parents' house along with all of my wife's siblings (she is the third of five children) as well as their partners and children.
Both my wife and her twin niece and nephew (via her sister) have birthdays the past week, and so each person has gotten a day to celebrate their birthday with the whole family, and yesterday was the day my wife's birthday was celebrated.
Among the guests were my wife's oldest brother [42M, 'Dan'] and his new fiancée [35F, 'Tina']. Tina will be Dan's 3rd wife. She also happens to be Dan's former mistress (both of Dan's marriages and a previous engagement all ended due to Dan cheating).
Tina is a fitness instructor, and must be very into healthy eating because every single meal we've had so far she's had to comment on how big or small her portions can be for each dish.
I am very thin and have no interest in working out (though Tina has made many 'middle aged men need muscle toning workouts' comments that seem directed to me and one of my brothers-in-law) and my wife is a beautifully chubby woman.
For dinner yesterday, my father-in-law and I made a big dinner with a lot of dishes that my wife loves. The whole point was for my wife to indulge herself and enjoy her favorite foods, and indeed she did.
Later that night, my wife wanted a snack, so she went to grab something from the kitchen while I was in the bathroom. I overheard Tina talking to my wife and nagging her about how she was already hungry again.
My wife said something to the effect of 'it's none of your business,' and as I was coming out of the bathroom, Tina told my wife 'you know, it's easier to keep your partner interested when you can be your best self.'
My wife was clearly very hurt by Tina's comment, so I told Tina 'that's rich coming from you, because no amount of time spent on your appearance will ever keep Dan interested for long.'
This was, apparently, the wrong thing to say. Tina got very upset, told me I was being a jacka#s, then stormed off to hers and Dan's room. Dan later came out and told me I was being a douche and that it was low to comment on his cheating.
I told him it was disgusting of her to comment on my wife's body (not to mention imply that I would cheat on her because of her physique.
For one I'm not a completely horrible person, plus she's always been very chubby, so I don't even see the logic in implying that I don't like that). Obviously, my wife is very happy with what I said. AITA?
Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this one...
LemonAle11 said:
LOL. I applaud you for that comeback on behalf of your wife. YOU THE MAN! NTA.
LSHHSL said:
NTA, thanks for sticking up for your wife!
ggcc789 said:
NTA. Very well done for defending your wife. Unfortunately for Tina, what you said about Dan is likely to be true, and they both know it.
Sure there's unpleasantness, but some people are not reasonable or kind, and won't change their behavior unless you make it sufficiently unpleasant for them. Tina will hopefully think twice before horning in on your wife again.
Photomama16 said:
NTA- you stuck up for your wife and you had a very good reason to do so. I wish “justified AH” was a judgement, because in this case, it would be true.
lady_rain_was_here said:
NTA. You are petty, and I like it. Good on your for standing up for your wife. Tina has no room to talk.
Unicorn71_ said:
Let's be fair IF she wanted to your wife could lose some of her 'chubbyness' but she's clearly happy in her own skin, the only person whose opinion I would imagine matters to her is yours OP, and you clearly adore the woman, and she enjoys food.
She's happy why should she change based on the opinion of gym barbie who thinks a man who has consistently cheated won't cheat on her. ONCE A CHEAT ALWAYS A CHEAT sweetcheeks. NTA OP nice 1 for putting her in her place and having your wife's back.
RumSoakedChap said:
That comeback was the most epic thing I read today. NTA.