Man tells pregnant sister she can't move in with him, 'our parents were too controlling.' AITA?
"AITA for telling my sister she can’t move in with me after getting pregnant?"
So, this all started when my younger sister (22F) announced she was pregnant. The father of the baby is her ex, who left her as soon as she told him. She moved back in with our parents for a while but wanted to move out because she felt they were being “too controlling.” They told her she needed a job and a plan for raising the baby, which she found stressful and unfair.
She came to me (28M) asking if she could move in because she “needed space” and “a supportive environment.” Thing is, I live alone in a one-bedroom apartment, and I work from home. I told her I don’t think it would be a good idea since I need peace and quiet for my job, and, honestly, I’m not ready to have a newborn around.
When I told her no, she exploded, saying I was abandoning her and the baby, that I was “privileged” because I have my own place and she doesn’t. She called me selfish and accused me of caring more about my “precious job” than my family. Now, our parents are also mad at me, saying it’s just “temporary” and that I’m the only sibling with the means to help her. So, AITA for not letting her move in?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
DMmeNiceTitties said:
NTA, if she wants to have the baby, that's fine, but that also means she needs to step it up and raise it instead of expecting others to.
EnvironmentalSlice46 said:
NTA if this is real your sister is unhinged. Why do people think they are owed things they haven’t worked for? She has options. She can go live with her parents but she just doesn’t want to put in the work.
That is a CHOICE. You don’t owe her a living space because she CHOOSES not to be employed. Also you should care about your job. If you didn’t have it you couldn’t afford the apartment she’s trying to mooch off of.
phyrsis said:
NTA. Tell her your lease doesn't allow more than one person (whether it's true or not).
LCJ75 said:
NTA she is a child herself. A job and a plan? How dare they. Why can't she work? Why isn't she working? Not your responsibility and she will make your life hell in no time. After the kid is born your house will be a disaster and you'll be babysitting. And the expense. Yikes.
You did not get pregnant by a deadbeat bf. You worked hard and got your place. Your care about your precious job because it's important. She doesn't think she needs one. So no. She has choices to make. So far they have been poor ones. But as they say, not your monkey, not your circus. Do not give in. You will never get rid of her. She needs to grow up.
mentaldriver1581 said:
Well, you’re clearly NTA. I’m also sick of people who choose to have a child and then scream how unfair it is that people aren’t falling all over themselves to help-especially when they do very little or nothing in terms of helping themselves. Don’t give in to this emotional blackmail.
Clean_Factor9673 said:
NTA. You live and work in a 1 bedroom apartment. There's no room for your pregnant sister and her baby, not is it appropriate to compromise your privacy, workplace confidentiality and space. Your parents would rather guilt trip you than deal with your sister. Direct her to social services to find assistance. They can help her come up with a plan thst includes suing her ex for paternity and child support.