Man with 'utter disgust' for dog breed rejects GF's 'obsession' to buy one; AITA?
Is 'that dog looks scary' really the hill you want to die on when it comes to your partner's dreams?
So, when a conflicted Borzoi-hater decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about his girlfriend's doggy dreams, people were ready to roast him.
AITA (Am I the As$hole) for telling my girlfriend we’re not getting a Borzoi dog?
I, M34, have been with my girlfriend, F46, for 7 years, she has been asking for a Borzoi breed dog since the start of our relationship. Initially I thought it would be a short-lived obsession so I jokingly would say yes we can get one but only when we move in.
She seemed very happy with this, fast forward 2 years and we finally moved in together. Once again, the conversation of buying a Borzoi dog game up, I kept deferring it making up excuses such as the flat is too small, we’re too busy and so on. She was mad but she understood so we moved on with our happy lives, Borzoi dog free.
Once again fast forward another 2 years and we moved into a house, our beautiful dream house, a garden, 2 floors and plenty of space, or as my girlfriend describes it… “big enough for a Borzoi dog. We also found new jobs where we can work from home so we would have enough time to look after this hypothetical Borzoi dog.
This is where things went downhill in our relationship. She once again brought up buying a Borzoi dog, I was cornered, my excuses no longer applied. I tried prolonging it out by saying not yet, and bless my girlfriend for her patience she kept sighing and leaving the discussion.
Then Covid came and one of the very few perks were that dogs became extremely expensive and that became my new reason not to buy the Borzoi dog. I milked the excuse during covid but now Covid isn’t affecting dog prices… so her obsession with getting the Borzoi dog has returned.
I should now explain why I don’t want a Borzoi dog. Simply, they’re the most hideously creepy dogs I have ever seen. It’s face makes me incredibly uncomfortable and I cannot imagine having one in the house a running around.
It reminds me of the slender man but as a dog. As ridiculous as it may seem, I fear it. My girlfriend thinks the complete opposite. It has now become a so much of a obsession she has started buying Borzoi cuddly toys, framed pictures, electronic cases, kitchenware, decoration, ALL Borzoi themed.
The Borzoi dog has taken over my house and my girlfriend. We haven’t argued over it yet but my girlfriend genuinely is heartbroken that I won’t get her one. She’d cry when binge watching videos of them and it would break my heart so a couple of months ago I finally explained my utter disgust of Borzoi dogs, I explained how the Borzoi dog genuinely disturbs me.
She said she that I lied to her all these years promising her the dog, I led her on and that if she didn’t get the dog then she’d consider leaving me. I don’t want to lose her but I can not bring myself to live with a Borzoi dog. AITA for telling her that we’re not getting a Borzoi dog?
Later, the post was edited to include:
I love dogs in general but the Borzoi dogs specifically freak me out. I wouldn’t mind getting a different dog but she doesn’t want any other.
Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this one:
Electronic_Fox_6383 said:
She wanted a Borzoi before she wanted you. If you don't want one, that's your problem, because you're getting a Borzoi, lol. YTA.
dhbroo12 said:
YTA, first off, Borzois are beautiful dogs. Gentle and intelligent. I have never seen slenderman, but I have seen a Borzoi, and they are marvelous dogs. To misrepresent (lying and manipulation) to your girlfriend is so wrong. She should buy you out and live there alone with her gorgeous dog.
Tiberium_1 said:
YTA, She has a point. You have lied to her for years or at least not been honest. It seems she has had her heart set on this breed of dog for years and built a future with you to enable having one. You dismissed it as a childish “obsession” and strung her along hoping it would go away.
Outrageously_Penguin said:
YTA. You weren’t joking, you were lying. You thought it would be a ‘short-lived obsession’ because I don’t know, you treat her like she’s five years old?
I would be on your side if you’d been honest up front, but after 7 years of telling your girlfriend yes, we’ll get a Borzoi dog…sorry buddy, you’re either getting none or she should rightly dump you.
Mobius_Stripping said:
YTA. you might as well substitute Borzoi with baby in this scenario, it sounds like basically the same thing for her. You lied from the start and kept moving the goal posts each time she reached them. you might think that Borzois look like monsters but you my friend are the Borzoi.
NJtoOx said:
YTA. Your girlfriend has been very upfront about what she wants. Instead of telling her from the beginning that you didn’t want this particular breed of dog you lied to her for seven years and continued to move the goal posts while getting her hopes up that one day you would agree to get the dog she wanted. You lied to her for 7 years. Of course you’re TA.
CuriousCuriousAlice said:
YTA. She is allowed to have dreams and desires for her life. She has waited and completed everything you have demanded before getting a dog. If you don’t want to live with her dog, you’re free to go.
You’re not free to stop her from pursuing the things she wants from her life because you’re not interested. Get over your dislike of a hypothetical dog you’ve never met, or leave, but stop trying to tell her what she’s allowed to do.
You’ve stolen years of her life promising a future you never intended to have. You’re the worst.
Raeilgunne said:
YTA. This wasn't some off the cuff wish, it was a goal for the future. You had agreed. You not getting one at this point would mean that you don't see her vision of the future as worth consideration as compared to what? That you don't want a funny looking dog?