'AITA for waiting out my prenup before divorcing my wife?'

"AITA for waiting out my prenup before divorcing my wife?"

My wife settled for me. I didn't know it when I married her but I do now. She was in love with her high school boyfriend who her parents hated. She was with him all through university.

Her parents finally told her that they would cut her off financially if she stayed with him. We met soon afterwards and I fell in love. She did not. Once again, this was a surprise to me.

We had a prenup that her parents insisted on. I was in it for the long haul so I had no problem with it. I basically got nothing if we divorced before we were married ten years. After that it was an even split as long as I was not the cause.

She was b%$ging her old boyfriend our entire marriage. I found out after we were married for eight years. I was angry and depressed. I had spent eight years supporting her and her career. She has a much better paying job than I do. It is high profile and she deals with our government a lot.

I decided that I could handle two years of infidelity. I had already done eight unknowingly. I filed for divorce on the day after our tenth anniversary. I let her parents pay for our vacation.

I didn't do anything dirty like send the evidence I had to her parents. I just had a lawyer draft claim for divorce. Included was the evidence that the prenup had lapsed and our holdings were to be split. She said that I blindsided her after our holiday away. She doesn't understand why I would do it. I said that I just don't think we are compatible any more.

I am prepared to go nuclear if I have to. But I don't want our kids, yes they are mine I checked, knowing why. I am keeping the evidence I have on her boyfriend in my pocket.

I can blow up his marriage and make her parents pissed at her if I absolutely must. I just prefer to end things with me in a decent financial position to take care of the kids. Am I the a^%$ole for what I did?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

bassmasta1990 advises:

Even if you don't want to go nuclear which I understand. I would still inform her that you know and have the evidence of her infidelity. She definitely seems like the type of person who would spin the narrative to make you look bad and her knowing you have this will make that less likely to happen.

Grilled_Cheese10 added:

I know someone who did this with his ex wife. He didn't want to make it public, but had his lawyer present his evidence so she knew he had it. His purpose was to keep her from spreading lies about him. It worked.

nateairulla asked:

Dude why wouldn’t you tell her that you know and why wouldn’t you tell the ex boyfriends wife?

Fit_District6065 OP responded:

My lawyer told her lawyer. She knows. Once everything is settled, if I'm allowed, I will inform his wife.

peregrine_throw added:

Then sue the AP, if it's an option where you are. Suing him as restitution to you, and to give his wife a possible upper hand should she choose to divorce him as well.

CursesSailor said:

I imagine this required nerves of steel and a lot of biting back harsh words. You played a long fame. Hopefully the resolution will give you a new start. NTA

Fit_District6065 OP responded:

Honestly not really. The only hard part was continuing to be intimate with her so as to not give her any clues that I knew. I got checked for STIs regularly.

m1raclemile said:

Let’s be honest and leave the kids out of it. You didn’t need to wait out a prenup to make sure your kids were financially taken care of - since their mother is wealthy. You did it for yourself. IMO you’re both assholes.

Fit_District6065 OP responded:

I supported her career advancement. I have no problem getting paid.

cyberwicklow said:

You have leverage, take more than half.

Fit_District6065 OP responded:

Half is lots. I like my job and knowing my kids are taken care of and my retirement will be comfortable is all I need.

cyberwicklow replied:

You're a better man than I am.