Man 'yells' at his wife for eating 'dozens' of his fast food fries. 'I’m only eating one.' AITA?

"Yelling at my wife for refusing to stop eating my fries?"

My fries were stolen, and I want to know if I was wrong in the way I handled it. My (m48) son (15) asked if we would pick up some McDonald’s for lunch while we were out. My wife (49) had already eaten, and we had food at home, so she said if he wanted fast food he could spend his own money on it.

My wife and I swing by the McDonald’s drive-through, and because I have not yet eaten, she places our son’s order, and a combo for me. She he does not order anything for herself.

When we pull up to the window, she begins to put on hand sanitizer, and I ask if she is going to eat other peoples' fries. She says yes. This is an old habit that we’ve had friction about before, but not for several years.

She knows that it drives me crazy, and that I would much prefer her to order something for herself, rather than eating the food that I ordered. Had I known I would be ordering for two, I would have ordered differently.

My wife begins to eat fries from the bag with glee, and I am asking her why she thinks that is OK. She says “I’m only eating one," and then of course proceeds to eat a dozen more.

She says that she is not eating my fries, but is eating our son's fries. I remind her that he likes fries and wanted McDonald’s enough to offer to pay for it with his own money. She has at this point eaten half of his fries, so she takes a handful from mine and fills his back up.

I need to take medicine before I eat, so I am waiting the 5 minutes until we get home to eat. Meanwhile, she is reaching into the bag and continuing to eat french fries. Each time I ask her to stop she says “it’s not a big deal!” or “just one more!"

I can feel myself fuming as she continues eating my food while I wait to eat. After what has to be at least the fourth or fifth time I ask her to stop eating my food, she says, “you’re being kind of a jerk," and I say, voice raised and frustrated, “because you won’t stop eating my french fries!”

At this point she looks wounded, goes quiet, and ditches the plans we had to go look at cars later in the afternoon, instead giving me the cold shoulder all day. She had been in good spirits as she was eating my food, and her demeanor changed completely when I got upset.

I don’t doubt that I hurt her feelings, and it probably embarrassed her somewhat. I didn’t like it either. When I ask what is the matter she just says she doesn’t enjoy being yelled and cursed at, which is understandable. Nobody does, and I get that. I might be the ahole too. I also know that she ignored multiple requests to stop eating my lunch until I raised my voice, at which point she stopped.

She’s still mad at my treatment of her, and I could hear her talking to a girlfriend on the phone about it last night after some wine: “and over McDonald’s fries. Can you believe it?” She slept on the couch last night, and is gone all day today to get out of the house.

She texted me this morning that she was able to share her leftover pizza with me a couple of days ago without making me feel little or like less of a person. I told her that situation was different because I only ate her shared leftovers after she offered, which is different than her eating my food before I do, after I ask her repeatedly to stop.

She says that she is never cooking for me again, and that she will only be making food for herself and our son from now on. I might be the ahole. Let me know...

EDIT:

Thanks for the opinions, everyone - I appreciate the feedback. My wife is a wonderful person in most respects, and I’m pretty OK too. It seems the thing is to always order extra fries, and to be kind to one another…

Here's what top commenters had to say about this:

Vast-Video-7701 said:

NTA. I was getting mad reading it!! It’s infuriating. and then to play the victim after. She’s an idiot.

OkTransportation7146 said:

It was never about the fries it was the fact that she didn't listen to you or respected what you were asking for. Anyone would've been mad. NTA.

NMB4Christmas said:

NTA. I'm just curious what other things she does to annoy you or get under your skin. This isn't about the fries. It's about control and a lack of respect.

kathryn_sedai said:

NTA, from what you’ve said she is deliberately greedy and disrespectful, then immediately plays the victim. How exhausting. She had already eaten, stole from her son, then stole from you, then pouts and throws out ultimatums? This is such shockingly bad manners. Absolutely yikes. Like, you can get very small bags of fries. If she wanted some, order some.

Heavy-Quail-7295 said:

NTA. My food is MY FOOD. That said...married 21 years, I always grab something to avoid this. If she's going to eat fries, buy another order. Make her buy more. Screw that, I am not obligated to go without because you don't have self control. Buy your "I can't help myself" fries. Yes, I can totally believe it over fries, cause it ain't just fries.

MapleTheUnicorn said:

NTA - from now on when you order fast food, always order her some fries and hand them to her.