'AITA for telling my manager that her pregnancy is no excuse for her bad decision-making?' UPDATED

"AITA for telling my manager that if her pregnancy is affecting her decision making then she shouldn't be in her position?"

Some context: I am a 27F working in a factory, my position involves sorting mail and dealing with returns and damages. I started my position making $14 which was more then what the truck loaders were making but once minimum wage increased to $14 my pay didn't increase. I was denied a raise and was told that my position was no more important then theirs.

Current issue: I'm taking a week of vacation, my manager Heather aggressively confronted me saying that it was really inconsiderate of me to take that much time off and that it's unprofessional for my position. I told her that I make just as much a loaders and they wouldn't be questioned for using their vacation week.

She said that my position is imortant and not as easily filled while I'm gone. I said that I was told otherwise and that if she felt that way then I should be compensated as such.

Later in the day she came back and apologized saying that she's five months pregnant and hormones are making her emotional but that I put her in a very bad spot and that I need reconsider taking my vacation. I told her that she's the one that approved my vacation months ago and if her pregnancy is affecting her behavior and decision making then maybe she shouldn't be in her position.

She left very uspet and told my coworkers that I said she wasn't fit for her job because she's pregnant and that I was acting all high and mighty asking for a raise. I've got a lot people calling me an a$$hole and a few agreeing with me. AITA?

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

bugsdoingthings said:

NTA, because: "She's five months pregnant and hormones are making her emotional but that I put her in a very bad spot and that I need reconsider taking my vacation."

An apology that says "I'm sorry, but [complaint about person being apologized to]" is no apology at all. If Heather had come back later and reversed her stance on your vacation I would say there was some merit to her excuse that she let pregnancy hormones get the better of her.

But if she's coming back to you after the moment of anger and still trying to rescind your vacation, that's not hormones. That's her messing up as a manager and failing to arrange for adequate staffing/coverage so that employees can receive full compensation, and using "pregnancy hormones" as an excuse. Your vacation days are part of your compensation package and you deserve to be able to take them.

While you're not wrong that she can't have it both ways (either she's too irrational to manage or she isn't), in real world office politics terms I think you should stay very far away from implying that she's unfit for her job. That's just not going to end well for you no matter how in the right you are.

Soggy-Llama said:

NTA. She acted hostile towards you, essentially tried to bully you into not taking a vacation(ANY company that cannot handle having 1 employee of for 1 week, has way bigger problems than the employee being on vacation)

She then tried to blame her dogsh!t behavior on being pregnant, not okay behavior from a manager. I would apologize if I were you(I don't think you have anything to apologize for) ..but literally just to smooth the situation over and make your day to day easier.

The_Schadenfrau said:

ESH You absolutely should be able to take a holiday. She shouldn't use pregnancy as an excuse to flout labour laws and/or human decency! How and ever, you responded just as nastily. Take the pregnancy out of it...she was saying she is overwhelmed at her wits end. Have some empathy.

You are not each other's enemies! Join forces and petition the company that is exploiting you to pay you what you deserve and get your boss some additional admin assistance. Good luck x

[deleted] said:

Yeah ESH. She had an a$$hole moment the way she acted but she came back and apologized. You then decided to sh!t on her telling her she shouldn’t be in her position.

Mememaker13 said:

NTA, hormones aren't an excuse for sh!tty behavior and any adult should know that

Update:

I just got off work and went to Heathers office to apologize but a lead told me she left crying. So Heather told everyone in the office what happened and they took Heather off floor management and scheduling.

Another manager Alex apologized to me for her behaviour and told me that she was supposed to have someone there for the week I'm off but forgot and tried getting me to reschedual, and that it was inappropriate to do so. Should I still text her and apologize?

Update #2:

I texted her apologizing for what I said and she apologized for trying to pressure me to cover her mistake. She said she was switching with Alex to office manager until her maternity leave and she feels less stressed by office then floor which I said was good and I wished her the best. Overall I think it ended well.