'MIL gifted me laser tattoo removal for my birthday…I don’t want them removed.' AITA? + CLEVER RESPONSE
"MIL gifted me laser tattoo removal for my birthday…. I don’t want them removed."
Just HAD to share this story. My husband (43m) and I (31f) have been married for 3 years, together for 6. Obviously there is an age gap between my husband and I, which has never been an issue for us.
My MIL however, has always greatly disapproved and likes to talk to me like I am a rebellious teenager instead of her son’s life partner. A big issue for her is the fact that I have tattoos.
I love all my tattoos, they are well done and a huge part of my identity. I can’t imagine myself without them and my husband loves how they look on me. MIL made a few comments while we were dating but my husband told her privately to drop it.
3 years ago, my husband and I hosted our families for my birthday dinner. It was our first big get-together after getting married and everyone was nice enough to bring me a gift. I was going to open them after everyone left but MiL handed me an envelope at the dinner table and insisted I open it immediately.
Inside was a card and a gift certificate to a local tattoo removal business for $500. I was confused and asked her what this was for. She said that since I was a married woman now and planning to have kids, she assumed I would want my tattoos removed.
Both my husband and I were kind of taken aback and stunned. I half heartedly thanked her and the party continued. Later, my husband called her and told her off. He insisted she take it back and get her money back.
She absolutely refused and insisted I would want it someday. 3 years later, her $500 is sitting in my kitchen junk drawer and I’ve added 3 more tattoos to the collection. So, oh yeah, lady?
Two days later, the OP returned with an update.
Thank you so much for all the great suggestions on what to do with the gift certificate. I actually have a friend who is the director of a restorative justice organization.
I asked her if she had any clients with hateful symbols they would like removed and it turns out she works with a guy who has a sw@st!k@ on his arm that he hides every day because he is so ashamed.
This is particularly significant and powerful for me because I’m Jewish. Anyway, I am dropping it off today and I’m really pleased that something that started as a disrespectful slight from my mother in law turned into this. Thank you!
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP’s posts:
You can donate that gift certificate to organizations helping ex-gang members get their tattoos removed. There might be one in your area. You could offer it to a woman's shelter, and they can offer it to someone with their abuser's name on them.
The company got paid. Might as well not let them have free money and you get to do a good deed. ETA: Thank you all for the awards.None of this is my idea. I saw a documentary ages ago about it!
What a great way to resolve the issue!
I was glad to read the husband did not kow tow to his mother. I was almost expecting him to based on some posts here.
What a great ending- love this! Warms the heart to turn a nasty act into a healing one!
That is the best example of regifting I have ever seen, and I guarantee OP has forever changed that man's life for the better. What a great update!
Wow, imagine having $500 to blow just to be petty. I'm talking about OP's mother. I'm glad that it is being used to help someone out. Another option for anyone else stuck with a gift card they can't use is to try calling the business or selling it online (ebay, craigslist, etc.), might need to take a haircut but still better than nothing.
This is one of my favorite updates I've seen on this sub. Nosy MIL doesn't get her way, and a symbol of hate gets erased in the process. I bet that guy is so relieved to get it removed.
LOL did MIL think $500 would be enough money to remove a tattoo? Even if OOP wanted to remove a tattoo $500 wouldn't begin to cover it and it wouldn't be a one-time laser treatment.
I attempted to have a tattoo removed and I paid $1500. It took multiple treatments and I still have the tattoo, albeit now it's faded. I developed health problems that made the removal treatment not very effective so I quit going.
The laser just breaks the ink up that's in the skin--it's then your immune system that removes the ink. Bad immune system=ineffective laser treatment. Love the idea of donating to a restorative justice organization for tattoo removal. It's an expensive process that requires commitment.
My petty ass would turn around and get her a gift certificate for wrinkle care at a plastic surgeon or something for her birthday. So glad MIL's pissiness is being turned into something so good!
She's sort of buried the lead on this one. Traditionally, Jewish people aren't supposed to get tattoos or we can't get buried in a Jewish cemetery (source am Jewish with tattoos). Modernly it isn't that big a deal but when my in-laws found out I had tattoos they were a bit taken aback since they are also Jewish.
They are over it now but I get the feeling if my wife ever got a tattoo it might cost me my head. I'm not saying that the mother-in-law here isn't being unreasonable but it may also come at least in part from the cultural significance of their faith. Kudos to OP for donating the gift certificate to such a worthy cause.