Mom baffled bf ex-husband's GF's reaction to co-parenting her two kids, 'I'm sick of doing YOUR job. We're taking you to court.' AITA? UPDATED
When this mom is baffled by her ex-husband's GF's take on her parenting, she asks the internet:
"AITA? Changing kids school and ex husband's GF wants to take me to court?!"
My (41f) ex husband (45m) and i share two kids (8f, 11m). He has two new children with his girlfriend (32f), 4m and 1f. My ex and I lived in the city I live in now when we started our family.
Our kid’s have been going to preschool up to grade 6 at the same elementary school, they have solid friend groups, i am good friends with their parents and we often do things as a group. It’s great.
Our little village. Ex husband lives a half hour away now in a different town and has since we split. Up to now, my ex has been relying on his girlfriend to drive/pick up my two to school 2 and 3 days a week (we have 50/50) but now that her oldest child is starting preschool and her youngest isn’t a newborn, she has started refusing to drive.
My ex’s job doesn’t allow him to either, so they’ve been stuck. I’ve helped them out a few times, but I run an extremly busy small business and have limited time as well. But I do everything I can so that the kids don’t feel any disruption or Sense anything is wrong.
I’ve offered to go back to me Doing the Mon-Friday thing, but that I refuse to give up my 2 weekends with the kids, and they are extremely precious to me. I also do all extra curricular stuff like swimming lessons, dance, drums, Ukelele, all the play dates and activities with friends.
Well. Yesterday I was absolutely torn a new one by the girlfriend, how she is “sick of doing my job driving the kids” and “with no thanks” “and that we are taking you to court to get the school changed to closer to us” She told me my daughter asked to change schools to be closer to them, which I am 10000% sure is not the truth.
My daughter adores her school and friends and knows no one in their neighborhood. I told her there’s no way we are changing schools, and that maybe they should closer to the school or hire childcare.
They are calling me selfish and a mountain of other names for this. I had to block her. Girlfriend also does not work. I’ve helped Them with our two kids several times over the years as they had their babies, moved, needed the schedule Changed, etc. AITA?
Let's see what readers thought of this:
finish7 writes:
NTA it’s not ok to change the kids school because gf doesn’t want to drive the kids anymore. That’s a issue your ex needs to figure out how to handle and pay for. Gf was also wrong to yell at you cause when it’s not your job to drive the kids when it ex parenting time. It’s ex’s responsibility. Blocking her was the best thing.
audreymush writes:
Wow, she wants you to thank her for doing your ex husbands job. That right there shows you they think these kids are your job and not your ex’s. If he wants 50/50 to save on child support, then that comes with responsibility. 50/50 isn’t a magic bullet so men don’t have to take care of their kids.
You are exceptionally nice. The first time they couldn’t get the kids to school, we would have been in court to change custody. Let him explain to a judge how he can reasonably do 50/50.
fundi writes:
NTA. I have a similar situation, except I am the dad’s new gf, we had 2 children together. Dad drove his older children to their grandparents to get on the bus EVERY DAY they were with us, then picked them up from grandparents.
(Luckily, his ex wife’s parents took on the bus routine for both mom and dad). After realizing this was too hard on everyone, WE MOVED into the school district the kids were in (even though I preferred the town I grew up in).
Now they can take the bus to and from their own house 50% of the time. You make sacrifices for your children, you don’t make the children sacrifice.
And now, OP's small update:
He doesn’t pay child support, and i feel like an idiot for this now, I told him he could stop paying when he told me they were struggling after their second baby was born. I make more than enough on my own to take care of my kids so I thought I’d be nice. 100% agree.
Even if picking them up unexpectedly totally screws my whole planned work day, I love it. I’ve also texted them saying if they cannot drive the kids to school, to call me and I’ll make the trip to pick them up. I’m not trying to sound like some perfect hero, I legitimately just want my kids to have normal routine.