Mom gets called out for 'threatening' daughter's SO, 'I shouldn't have spoken back.' AITA?
"AITA for telling my MIL to not threaten me during our first meeting?"
I've been dating my partner for a year, and have only just met her mother last week. To give some background: My partner is an only child, and she is 27 years old. Her Mother is 60 or so. I'm actually her first partner ever. I am 32. I have had a few partner before, some quite serious.
Anyway, we all meet for dinner at restaurant near my home, and I'm being nice and welcoming. We meet eachother, say hi, talk about the travels to get here, etc. All the small talk. Then we had a conversation about how long it has taken to meet, and how nice it is to see eachother.
Then she says: "And I just want you to know - if you ever hurt my daughter, I will kill you." with a serious face. Now. I fully understood, and still understand, she is being protective of her daughter, who is her only daughter, and the scenario of her dating is one which is unfamiliar to her. But I don't enjoy being threatened. I find it disrespectful.
As such, I said "I have no intention of hurting your daughter, and I to be honest, I don't think it's appropriate to threaten me." And then I just sort of observed her to gauge her reaction. She sat there with her mouth a little open, not sure what to say, then looked at her daughter, who was looking down into her food.
Then I called the waiter over to order a round of drinks, and the night went on as well as it could have after that. Just superficial talks about life and work, etc.
A few days afterwards, my partner told me that her mum said I was a very rude person and that I shouldn't have spoken back to her. I laughed, but my partner is insistent I crossed the line. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Ok_Play2364 said:
I can see why your partner hasn't had any relationships before you.
DeciduousEmu said:
She was testing you. Specifically, to see if you would roll over and just take the threat. Way to show her you aren't going to let her get away with saying BS like that. NTA.
Ok-Reply9552 said:
NTA. Your partner is a mamas girl and her mother is in the wrong.
Cursd818 said:
NTA. You're right. Being threatened is unacceptable. You can absolutely speak back to people who threaten you. And the fact that your partner thinks you should have just taken it and that her mother is allowed to threaten you is a big red flag.
Broad-Discipline2360 said:
I can't in my wildest dreams imagine saying that to my adult child's new partner the first time I met them. So messed up. NTA. Your girlfriend is for not verbally stomping her mom though. If I did that to my kids they would have ripped me a new one, rightfully.
Effective_While_8487 said:
Break up. Seriously, if she cannot see how inappropriate her moms statement was (and how classy your reply was) then your relationship is doomed. No one gets between her and mommy, which is why this is the first @ age 27. NTA, unless you continue with her.