Mother-of-the-bride gives her daughter an ultimatum: 'wear a pink dress and we'll take our money back.' AITA?
"AITA for drama over pink wedding dress?"
Me (26f) and my fiancé (26m) are getting married this coming May. Last week, me and my parents were discussing plans for the wedding. For the longest time (since teens perhaps), I have had my heart set on a pink wedding gown.
That color makes me feel the prettiest and (I believe) suits me more than white. My mom has known about this interest, but always thought it was one of those fancies which would "go away" once I grew up and actually decided to get married.
Well, here we are. When I brought up the pink wedding dress again during our discussion, my mom and I got into a serious argument about it. She said that it would be childish and embarrassing of me to get married in a gown that color and she doesn't want me to regret in the future looking back at my photos.
I argued that there was nothing embarrasing about wearing a color I like on MY special day, and even James didn't mind what color of the dress I wore. I also said that regret could go either way and I could end up regretting NOT wearing pink in the future so I'd rather go with the decision that makes me happy right now.
Although my dad hasn't been as vocally against the pink dress, he is starting to side with mom seeing how upset she is getting over this. Over the whole week, there has been no end in sight to this argument, with my mom bringing up multiple times how they won't pay their half for the wedding dress if I go with pink (the initial agreement was to split the bill 50-50).
My brother (30m) thinks the whole argument over this color is ridiculous and told mom that he'd be happy to split the bill with me instead, and they might end up being the ones regretting this whole drama more than me regretting the color in the future.
I honestly feel so torn over this. I am not sure anymore if I want the pink dress that badly just because I feel hurt the way my parents reacted to it and made such a big deal out of it. On the other hand, this is what I have always wanted but I do feel like this small of a decision is causing a huge drama for no reason. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Ok_Expression7723 said:
NTA. Your mom is overreacting. Get the dress that makes you happiest. In whatever color you want. If they refuse to pay for half, have a smaller wedding or take your brother up on his offer. If having a smaller wedding means your parents’ friends aren’t invited, oh well. I hate gifts with strings attached. It’s just manipulative not a real gift.
TheSciFiGuy80 said
NTA. Historically people didn’t wear white. Queen Victoria changed all that in the 19th century with her white gown which was widely published and popularized the idea. Before 1840, brides often wore red, pink, blue, brown, or black. However, white didn’t become the standard choice for brides until the mid-20th century.
This was due to the rise of mass media, fashion magazines, and Hollywood films, which helped reinforce the association between white dresses and weddings. So just remind her that this is your wedding and you want to feel pretty in a gown of your choice.
EastPirate6505 said:
NTA. My oldest and I have been discussing wedding dresses. One of the shops I recommended to her was Flora and Lane. I’m not sure they even have a totally white dress. It’s YOUR day. Your mum got to wear what she wanted on her wedding day. You get to wear what you want on yours.
Don’t have them put money towards it. Pay for it yourself. If you’re old enough to get married then you should be old enough to stand by your own decisions about YOUR day.
LoveBeach8 said:
NTA. Your mom is causing the drama, not you!! And your dad is adding fuel to the fire. I think your pink wedding dress would be absolutely BEAUTIFUL!!!! Do it. It's YOUR wedding, not your mom's, not your dad's. It's YOURS.
If they won't budge on their threats, either let your brother help pay for your wedding or do something else, like elope or scale down your wedding expenses by having a small, intimate setting with a small reception. You'll save money and can use the leftover money to put towards a honeymoon or a house. Congrats on your upcoming wedding in your beautiful pink dress!
SizzleDebizzle said:
NTA. Stop arguing. If someone doesnt like what youre doing and they wanna change your mind, you dont have to engage. Thank them for their input and care but this is what you're doing and dont engage anymore.
Vhagar37 said:
NTA. Take your brother's offer. Wear exactly what you want to your wedding. Your parents are being weird.