'AITA for moving across the country and splitting the five of us up (Quints)?' + Skunk and Opossum Drama
"AITA for moving across the country and splitting the five of us up (Quints)?"
Celtic_Full_Moon
I’m 1 (28 M) of 5 in a set of quintuplets. In order it goes Aiden, Beth, Charlotte, Deanna and me Eric. It wasn’t horrible and our parents did in all honesty a great job with all us.
I think really the only problem we had was Aiden who was the first out and knew he was the first out had a pretty big ego and felt he was superior over the other four of us and tried to push us around. Our parents did what they could to keep him in line and for the most part the rest of us would ignore him.
Three years ago my brother decided to marry his then girlfriend. Our family for the most part are pretty laid back. This is good because out of the five of us, I’m the gay one. Up to a certain point it was never really an issue. Or so I thought.
His wife’s family complete opposite. Highly political (Conservative) and devote Catholic. Again to each their own and it wasn’t anything for us to talk to him about. If she makes him happy then there isn’t anything we can do about it.
When they got married I wasn’t included in any part of it. Her parents were paying for it and they had the final say and said they couldn’t allow a gay person in the wedding party or in the church.
My brothers, sisters and parents say they fought to get me invited, but were shot down each time. My sisters were part of the wedding party but none declined. My dad offered to stay with me for the day and we would do something.
I told him it was okay and both parents needed to be at the wedding. The day of the wedding a couple of friends took a day trip. We had a great time but it still would have been nice to see Aiden get married.
Not long after the wedding I was on vacation and met someone. Long distance as it maybe three years later we have been making it work. We have been talking about one of moving and I told him I loved Seattle and that if anyone was going to move it was going to be me.
Last night mom and dad asked for all of us to come for dinner. I didn’t say much at all and everyone was talking and I was just listening and on occasion say a yes or no or answer an easy question. My dad finally noticed and looked over and asked if I was okay.
I just told him I have a lot on my mind and he asked what’s going on “I’m moving to Seattle The room went crazy. I can’t say I was being attacked but it still felt like it with the way everyone was firing off all their questions and calling me an AH for breaking the five of us up.
Dinner ended shortly after and Dad and I went out to his barn and talked for a long time. Weather he gave it to me or not I am going to move. But he gave me his blessing and told me he would help however he could.
Today Deanna and Beth came over and started in right away. They started blaming Will for splitting the five of us up and calling me an AH for not taking the rest of us into consideration. I told them it’s not a big deal and at least one of us has the ambition to move on with their life. So AITA for moving and breaking up the five of us?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
fabulousautie
People move. It’s part of life. You’re an individual and not just part of a set. You can’t be expected to spend the rest of your life consulting your siblings before making decisions just because you were wombmates. NTA and enjoy Seattle!
Celtic_Full_Moon (OP)
I literally had to do a double take with this. I thought you called us a bunch wombats. LOL Thanks for the giggle.
slinkimalinki
Be your own wombat, Eric! Your brother made the choice to marry into a family that wouldn't accept you so he already split everybody up. Good luck in Seattle, NTA.
Extension-Issue3560
If they were as tight knit as they claim...they wouldn't have participated in the wedding. If my future in laws said I couldn't invite a family member....I would say thanks , but no thanks....
Stranger0nReddit
NTA. Being a quint doesn't mean you can't and shouldn't have your own life. You are an individual! It's normal to move. I'm glad your dad is at least on your side. And hey, if they are gonna talk about dividing the family i'd note you felt that way when you were not even invited to your brother's wedding.
I hope their reactions were mostly due to shock and they come to understand that you should do what makes you happy, and they should support you in that.
Celtic_Full_Moon (OP)
I spoke to both of my parents today. I was the odd ball. While most kids are wheres Mom I was alway's wheres Dad. The other four were always where's mom? Don't get me wrong.
I love my mom and we are pretty close. But for some reason and I'm not complaining I gravitated to Dad. But mom and dad are going to help me move by bring my Cat, skunk and Opossum out to Seattle for me.
They have a huge motor home and this way they won't have to be locked up in cages and will have access to their litterboxes and food. My parents know what the divide was. They blame my siblings for the way we split up. They never once blamed me and apologized even though my siblings didn't.
Apprehensive_Cow4542
I do want to note that if you do actually have a skunk and an opossum, and not just cats named Skunk and Opossum, they are illegal to own in Washington state, and illegal to bring into the state in almost all circumstances when owned by private individuals.
I mention this because they could be removed and potentially euthanized due to rabies laws, and as an animal lover, I would really hate to have that happen to you if you do indeed have a skunk or possum.