'AITA for telling my boss that she can suspend a little girl for biting her friend's kid?'
"AITA for telling my boss that if she wants this little girl to be suspended, she can tell the parents herself."
FamousAd6565 writes:
I’m the lead teacher in a two-year-old room at a daycare. I have a little girl in my class, Sophie, who has had an issue with biting over the past couple of days. Sophie is usually very sweet, and she’s very intelligent (she’s almost fully potty trained at 28 months old), but she has a pretty severe speech delay.
Additionally, her mom was taken to the hospital by ambulance last weekend, and Sophie hasn’t seen her since because the hospital doesn’t allow children under five to visit. All of this is to say that I strongly believe the biting is a reaction to her mom’s hospitalization and her inability to communicate.
The way biting is typically handled is that parents get a warning after the first incident, the child is suspended for two days after the second incident, and expulsion is considered after the third incident. Everything up to expulsion is up to the lead teacher, though, since our boss is never here. Whenever Sophie bites, I still have her grandma sign the incident report, but I don’t suspend her.
On Wednesday, Sophie bit a boy whose mom is friends with my boss. His mom complained to my boss about the bite, and my boss told her that Sophie would be suspended. The boy came to school yesterday and saw Sophie, so my boss got another complaint because Sophie was still there.
Then my boss contacted me and told me I needed to have Sophie’s parents pick her up because her friend was upset, but I refused. I explained Sophie’s situation to my boss, hoping she might have a bit of sympathy, but she still insisted that Sophie couldn’t be there.
I told her that I refuse to suspend Sophie while her mom is in the hospital and that if she wants Sophie to be suspended that badly, she can come down here and do it herself. Sophie is not suspended, but I still have to deal with a frustrated mom, and my boss is upset, so I wanted to know if I am wrong for refusing to suspend Sophie.
Here are the top rated comments.
chubeebear says:
Has anyone tried to teach Sophie sign language so she can communicate better? Little kids pick it up much quicker and if they are nonverbal it's an easy way to help them. I don't think you're an a$&@ole, but you need to think of a way to help her communicate since she is clearly missing her mom.
OP responded:
Her mom has been teaching her signs, but I haven’t been able to teach her any this week.
changelingcd says:
YTA, to a degree that's truly shocking. You're letting sympathy cloud your common sense. WHY Sophie is biting people doesn't change the fact that it can't be allowed or tolerated in the daycare at all. You're going to lose your job if you don't smarten up. You can't break important rules and refuse to do your job unless you want to get fired--which won't help Sophie at all.
Plus_Concern6650 says:
While I think you can be sympathetic to a point it is wildly unfair to all the kids who keep getting bit by Sophie. She should be suspended because that is the rule - especially since it sounds like she has well exceeded her ‘three bites’.