'AITA for refusing to go to my cousin's wedding because he owes me $5,000?'
"AITA for refusing to go to my cousin's wedding because he still hasn’t paid me back the money he owes?"
Cold_Wasabi_8009 writes:
I (31F) loaned my cousin Mike (34M) $5000 a few years back. He was in a really tough spot, and since we’ve always been pretty close, I didn’t hesitate to help him out. He promised me he’d pay me back as soon as he could, and I trusted him. I mean, he’s family, right?
Well... fast forward to today, and guess what? Not a single cent has come my way. Every time I bring it up, it’s always the same story: “I’ll pay you back next month” or “I’ve been having a rough time.” I’ve tried to be understanding, but it’s been YEARS of this, and I’m seriously over it.
Here’s where things get even worse. Mike is getting married next month, and this isn’t just some small family event. No, it’s a full-blown, ridiculously expensive wedding. We’re talking luxury everything—fancy venue, over-the-top decor, expensive clothes, and apparently, they’re even flying somewhere exotic for the honeymoon.
It’s insane how much they’re spending, and all I can think is, “How can you afford all this but not pay me back what you owe?” I tried to talk to my parents about it, and they’re saying I’m being selfish and need to “let it go” because “it’s his special day” and “family is more important than money.”
They’re really pressuring me to go, even though I feel like I’m being completely disrespected. I mean, how am I supposed to sit there and watch him spend thousands on his wedding when I’m still out $5000 that I needed back?
When I confronted Mike, he just brushed it off like it wasn’t a big deal and gave me the usual, “I’ll pay you back soon.” It’s like he doesn’t even care how much he’s screwed me over.
So, now I’m stuck. I don’t want to cause drama and be the one ruining the wedding, but I also don’t think it’s fair that I’m supposed to just smile and pretend everything’s fine. If I go, I feel like I’m basically saying it’s okay for him to treat me like this, and it’s not.
But now I’m wondering if I’m being too petty about the whole thing. Should I just suck it up and go for the sake of the family? Or do I have the right to be angry and skip it? My parents are making me feel like I’m the bad guy here, but I feel like I’ve been patient long enough.
Here are the top comments:
No-Cap-3337 says:
NTA but I’d go, eat, drink and be merry on their dime. When they ask about a gift, I’d casually mention that it’s with your $5k.
No_Rush_3191 says:
NTA, I would go to the wedding and for his gift I would hand him some small claims court papers, suing him for the $5,000.
Repulsive-Track
I would advise you to go. And while you are there, casually mention to a few of his friends, colleagues and what not that you wonder how he can pay for all this, while he still has a significant amount of debt. Be 'nice' about it, subtle.
You know? Like you are concerned about him and his financial status. Maybe that'll kick his behind in gear and your parents can not tell you off. You are merely concerned for a family member.
Ok_Homework_7621 says:
NTA. If family is more important than money, your parents should pay you back on his behalf. You two don't have a good relationship, so no wonder you don't want to go to the wedding. Skip the extra cost and annoyance.
What do you think?