'AITA for not letting my dad 'buy' a relationship with me after abandoning me?'
"AITA for refusing a house from my biological father because I don’t want to see him?"
westsydmum writes:
So, some backstory. My “real” father (bio dad) cheated on my mum and was abusive to her. He was never really in my life. My “step” father (who I consider my real dad) has been there for me my whole life, raising me and being the man I needed.
Bio dad only reached out to me when I was 16, and by then, I wanted nothing to do with him. Over the years, I’ve randomly run into him, but it’s always been a quick hello and goodbye. He never made any effort to be a real parent. He also conveniently pretended to be broke until I turned 18, barely (if ever) paid child support, and then suddenly opened a business, became a multimillionaire, and bought two houses.
Now, at 30, he reached out again through Facebook and started calling me. This time, he offered to buy me a house—but only if I agree to see him at least once a month. I immediately said no. It feels like he’s trying to buy a relationship with me, and honestly, I don’t want one with him. If he truly cared, he wouldn’t be putting conditions on it.
For context, my husband and I aren’t rich, but we’re not struggling either. We’re paying off our mortgage, and while things can be tight sometimes, we make it work. We have two kids, and we’re building our life together.
A free house would obviously be amazing, but at what cost? I don’t want my kids around someone I don’t trust, and I don’t want to force myself into a relationship that makes me uncomfortable just because he suddenly decided he wants to play dad now that I’m an adult.
My husband thinks I should just “suck it up” and see him once a month if it means financial security for our family. He’s not pressuring me, but he’s frustrated that I won’t even consider it. But to me, this isn’t just about money.
This is about someone who abandoned me, never cared for me when I needed him, and now suddenly wants access to me because he’s rich? It feels transactional and insincere. AITAH for refusing the house and standing my ground?
Here are the top rated comments.
kittytailstory says:
Would it be your house with NO strings attached? He would pay for it outright, only your name on the paperwork with him holding zero legal holding to it? In that case, I would consider it back child support for the 18 years of being a deadbeat, and once it is a done deal, continue to treat him like the stranger he is.
I get the morals and what you are teaching your kids, but in this climate, owning a home outright is may be the only way to build a legacy for your own kids.
smlpkg1966 says:
Child support ends at 18 but back child support does not. If he is behind on years of child support let them know where he is and how much money he now has. Then you can get money to help your family and never have to see him. NTA. All these people who only care about material things are ridiculous. These same people would not whore themselves for money but think you should. Gross.
Ok-Worldliness-3313 says:
NTA. If the hubby wants a house so bad HE can go and suck off the dad. I mean suck up to the dad. My bad.
Silver-Appointment77 says:
I'm guessing your sperm donor is getting on a bit an needs someone to look after him. It'll start once a month, then it'll be every two weeks, then as he gets older you'll become his full time career. Its not worth it as like you say hes not your real dad. Your step dad is.