'AITA for not wanting my dad's family at my wedding after they ruined my life?'
"AITA for not letting my dad’s "new" family come to my wedding after what they did?"
OP writes:
Ok, so here’s the deal. I (27F) am getting married in a few months, and it’s supposed to be the happiest time of my life. But, of course, my family has to ruin it. Backstory: My dad cheated on my mom when I was 15.
He left us for this other woman (let’s call her Linda). My mom was absolutely destroyed, and I basically had to help her pick up the pieces. My dad moved in with Linda and her two kids, and it was like I didn’t exist anymore.
He stopped coming to my school events and didn’t even call me on my birthday sometimes. When I tried to talk to him about it, he’d just say, “You’ll understand when you’re older.” Like, no, I won’t understand how you can just ditch your kid for someone else’s family.
Anyway, fast forward to now. I haven’t talked to my dad much in years, but I sent him an invite to my wedding because, well, I thought it was the right thing to do. But then he called me and asked if Linda and her kids could come too. I was like, uh, absolutely not.
First of all, I don’t even know them. They’re basically strangers to me. Second, they’re part of the reason my mom’s life was destroyed. Why would I want them at the most important day of my life? I told my dad no, and he got all offended, saying I was being “immature” and that they’re “family.”
Now he’s threatening not to come at all if they’re not invited. And honestly? I don’t even care anymore. My fiancé and my friends say I’m doing the right thing by standing my ground, but my dad’s side of the family is saying I’m being petty and that I need to “forgive and forget.”
Like, I’ve worked so hard to get to a place where I’m happy and stable, and I don’t want that drama at my wedding. It’s supposed to be about me and my fiancé, not about my dad’s guilt trip. So, AITA for not letting them come and for being okay if my dad doesn’t show up either?
Here are the top rated comments:
slightlygrum says:
Tell him he’ll understand when he’s older.
Status-Pattern7539 says:
NTA. “I invited you out of familial obligation, not bc I actually want you there. Don’t threaten me with a good time. I won’t cry if you’re not there, you haven’t been there since I was 15 so it’s not like I will miss you.”
Sunmoon98 says:
NTA. Your father is though. Stand your ground and go have a happy wedding. He has to live with the fact that he wasn’t in his kids lives and that he missed your wedding. You were nice enough to send him an invite. Up to him if he comes.
The_Bad_Agent says:
NTA and you should rescind the invitations to anyone defending him.