'AITA for breaking up with my fiance for being an annoying useless mama's boy?'
"AITA for Breaking Up with My Fiancé Because He Refused to Set Boundaries with His Mom?"
HallieBreeze writes:
So, I (28F) was engaged to "Mike" (30M) for about two years and together for four. We had a great relationship—or at least I thought we did—until it became clear that his mom ("Mary") had a... unique attachment to her son.
It started small. She would call him multiple times a day to "check in," which I didn’t mind at first. But then she started showing up unannounced at our place, criticizing how I kept the house, and even trying to rearrange furniture because “Mike liked it better this way.”
I put up with it because Mike assured me he’d talk to her. Spoiler: he never did. Things escalated when Mary insisted on planning our entire wedding. She wanted her friends on the guest list, her catering preferences, and even suggested I wear her wedding dress (which was dated, to put it kindly).
When I tried to assert my opinions, she’d say things like, “Oh, honey, this is just how it’s done in our family.” Mike just shrugged it off, saying, “That’s how she is.” The breaking point came when Mary told me I should “delay having kids” because “no one will ever love Mike as much as I do.” I confronted Mike, but he said I was "overreacting."
I told him we needed serious boundaries or I couldn’t do this anymore. His response? “If you can’t handle my mom, how are you supposed to handle being part of the family?” So, I broke up with him. Mary called me “selfish,” his sister said I was “ripping the family apart,” and even Mike’s friends are saying I should’ve compromised. But my friends are 100% on my side. AITA for not trying harder? Or was this doomed from the start?
Here are the top rated comments:
ZendayaBloom says:
Girl, you dodged a lifetime of being the third wheel in your own marriage. If he can’t set boundaries now, imagine trying to argue with Mary over baby names or holiday plans. You’re not the villain for wanting a husband, not a mama’s boy. Let him and Mary live their happily-ever-after; you deserve better.
Fine-Spell-3442 says:
YOU darling, dodged a nuclear bomb. If he bothers you, tell him to go marry his mother because only she CAN love him as much as she does. YOU on the other hand sweetheart, deserve better. Someone who is not in an incestual relationship with his mother.
IllustratorSea8372 says:
Reading this felt like I was reliving my history… had an extremely similar experience, if not the exact same experience. I broke it off with my fiance 3 years ago and it’s the one decision I’ve made in my life that I don’t second guess and emphatically look back on as the best decision I ever made.
You are absolutely NTA and what’s more, is you should be very proud of yourself for making such a tough decision… most people would stay and be miserable, sadly.
mindymint03 says:
As I see you weren’t in a relationship with just Mike you are actually were in a relationship with Mike and Mary. You set a healthy gap in between, and he chose his mom over building a future with you.
That’s not your failure i should say it’s his. You dodged a lifetime of “that’s just how she is” excuses, and honestly, that sounds like the happiest ending possible. Stay strong.. you deserve a partner, not a package deal with a meddling mom well just saying