'My girlfriend wants me to get a tattoo I don’t want. AITA for considering dumping her?' UPDATED

Tattoos are a personal decision, and everyone has a different metric for deciding whether they want one.

In a popular post on the AITAH subreddit, a man asked if he's wrong for shutting down his girlfriend's tattoo idea. He wrote:

"My girlfriend wants me to get a tattoo I don’t want to get. AITAH?"

My girlfriend (21F) wants me (22M) to get a tattoo of her name. She doesn’t care where I get it, arms, legs, back, neck, she just wants me to get it. Her reasoning is that I have a tattoo of my sister’s name on my left chest, and I should now have a tattoo of her name too.

I’ve told her that my sister has a similar tattoo of my name, and we both got it to signify a sibling bond, and that’s the only tattoo we’ll ever get in our lives. She has been throwing hissy fits recently. Is this valid grounds for breakup? We’ve been in a relationship for a few years, we love each other, this would be such a stupid reason for a breakup.

The internet did not hold back.

artnodiv wrote:

"This would be such a stupid reason for a breakup."

No, this would be a perfectly legit reason to break up. 1. She's controlling.

2. She's jealous of your sister, which implies she thinks you and your sister have something going on 3. Throwing hissy fits over you altering your body implies she doesn't love you for the way you are now, she loves you for the way she thinks she can make you

4. I'm sorry, but being in a relationship at 20/21 is not that big of deal in the grand scheme of things. Sure, at that age I thought I was with my forever GF, but we broke up after 3.5 years. In retrospect, it's barely a blip compared to my entire life. My wife and I have been together 25 years, 20 married, she's covered in tattoos, but the only names on her are our children. And I have no problem with not being on the list!

Any_Cicada_3390 wrote:

Bro, run.

wylietrix wrote:

He could get a tattoo of a red flag.

TealBlueLava wrote:

Do not get this tattoo. 1. This is a manipulation tactic. 2. Any tattoo artist worth their salt will tell you getting a tattoo for your SO will curse even the most well established relationships. 3. The only names you get tattooed are your own children or someone who has passed on. That’s it.

Complete-Bumblebee-5 wrote:

If she keeps pressuring you and still doesn't accept no, it sounds like she doesn't respect your wants and boundaries. A tattoo is serious commitment and is completely up to you.

The next day OP shared an update.

I just broke up with my gf. My gf had a major red flag which I missed because I was naive and super in love, but one of the comments opened my eyes. The red flag being that she might have been jealous of my relationship with my sister. That was just insane, and I never even considered that scenario. I don’t know why, but I started hating my girlfriend after reading that comment.

She came over to my apt an hour ago, and I told her we were done. This shocked her obviously, and she apologized and said she’d never ask me again to get a tattoo and that she was insecure, and she said a bunch of other things while she was crying. She said she would go to a professional to work through her issues, and asked me to reconsider throwing away all the years we spent together.

Well I didn’t care anymore and told her to pack her stuff and leave. She left a few minutes ago and I blocked her on everything. I don’t feel anything, no sadness, no regrets because I no longer am in love with her. I want to thank reddit for opening my eyes.

The internet had OP's back.

Rebekahster wrote:

I’m surprised by the number of people who are now defending your ex, given the tone of the comments in your original post. For what it’s worth, I don’t necessarily think that you made up your mind because of a reddit comment, I think that comment opened your eyes to a number of red flags you had been ignoring to that point.

Used_College_4111 wrote:

It seems the red flag and the blow up about the tat was just the end of it for you. I stay in relationships until the bitter end. I don't recommend it, but it kind of sounds like you did too.

DefinitelyNotIndie wrote:

Is there more to this story that the guy's now deleted? The original post I see says nothing more than that the girlfriend has been throwing some hissy fits lately. There doesn't seem much to this story. Not much problem and not much love.

Having a tattoo of your sister's name is a bit weird in the first place but I assume OP has their reasons. All I see in the post is a girl's reaction (admittedly incorrect) to an unusual situation, was there a lot more information about the fight originally?

Ok_Job_2417 wrote:

Sibling tattoos aren’t that unusual.

But I want my name cause your sisters name is there is weird. This wasn’t an ex where it was someone they were in love with before, there’s a chance of going back, etc.

Arlaneutique wrote:

Good for you! WAY too often we see people make endless excuses for someone only to drag out the inevitable. Getting a tattoo of someone’s name that isn’t blood related to you is never a good idea.

But if it does happen it should be because you choose that not because of pressure. That fact that you didn’t want to and she still pushed for it is extremely icky. I’m glad you saw this for what it was and didn’t let her convince you to stay.

Gstamsharp wrote:

Hey, while you may have done the right thing, be careful assuming the numb indifference you feel about it right now is because you're out of love and not because you just suffered a major, life-changing emotional loss. I can't know what is in your mind, of course, but that reaction is both common and a ticking time bomb of repressed emotions waiting to explode for many people.

The mind is great at protecting itself to get through the hard part; that's the feeling nothing part. But once the hard part is over it can all come flooding back in the full agony of loss. And for some, that unexpected pain leads to worse problems. Some might regret their choices, even though they've done the right thing, and sabotage themselves by, say, reaching out to the ex.

Others might bottle those feelings up again and make it very, very hard to feel emotions as they did before. Those are the people who never seem to fall in love again, or whose relationships never seem to stack up to the old one.

I'm glad for you that you've been able to make the steps to move forward. Just be careful of your own feelings about it, now and in the future, because with internet validation or not, your own mind might be setting itself up for a rough time you're not expecting.

Constant-Belt-3819 wrote:

I wouldn't have got her name tattooed on me either but you sure quickly and coldly left a relationship with someone you said that you loved and have dated for years.

"I’ve told her that my sister has a similar tattoo of my name, and we both got it to signify a sibling bond, and that’s the only tattoo we’ll ever get in our lives."

The way you describe it gives me Jamie and Cersei vibes.

Well, this escalated quickly.