'AITA for telling my in-laws that I don't want to be their server at Christmas dinner?'
"AITA for telling my in-laws that I don't want to be their server at Christmas dinner?"
I'm a newlywed, and my in-laws are visiting for Christmas, staying at our new house. Initially, they expressed interest in dining out for Christmas dinner, but I suggested preparing a home-cooked feast. Surprisingly, they declined the offer.
Here's where it gets interesting. I'm currently working as a server in town after recently being laid off from my corporate job. Luckily, the restaurant is closed on Christmas Eve and Christmas.
However, my mother-in-law had different plans. She called my workplace without consulting me and requested that I be their server for their entire Christmas dinner.
I discovered this arrangement through my husband, learning that my Christmas "gift" would be a generous tip and takeout from my restaurant.
This seems peculiar, especially since our restaurant isn't even open on Christmas Eve or Christmas, and I would be available to spend time with them on those days. They've scheduled this dinner the day before we close, making it their designated family celebration.
Politely, I declined because, let's be real, being excluded from Christmas dinner while working as their server? That's a hard pass from me. Unfortunately, I was told that I was being dramatic, and there's nothing weird about me being their server for their family's Christmas dinner. Thoughts, anyone?
OP responded to some comments:
fallingintopolkadots says:
NTA (Not the A%@hole). Damn, that's insulting and spiteful AF. We don't want you to cook or be a participant in our Christmas celebration, but we'd love to come to your workplace and have you serve us, so technically you're there with us but you can't contribute to the conversation and are required to be polite because it's your job.
And to say your gift is the tip and takeout?! What the ever loving f^#k kind of bullsh^t is that?! I'd tell your boss that you request to not serve them, or switch with a co-worker, or call out last minute or something. How in hell does your husband not see the offense in their actions and isn't supporting you?
OP says:
I felt like it was very offensive and couldn't really understand why they thought it was weird that I said no. If the roles were switched, my family would never do that to their child in law. I've served my husband, friends, and family in the past but not on a holiday where I was being isolated. I feel like I am being gaslit.
StAlvis says:
NTA. I was told that I was being dramatic and there's nothing weird about me being their server for their family's Christmas dinner. IT'S F^#KING WEIRD. Is there anything you're not telling us that makes this even worse, by any chance? Are you a different race from your in-laws, or something?
OP responded:
Honestly, they're all super rich, like millionaire status. I am also half Mexican and a quarter Native, but I am super fare skinned. This depressed me by quite a bit tbf.
MagratCatFurniture says:
NTA. And unless your husband is insisting that the family dinner actually include you as an actual sit-down participant, you have more than just an in-law problem.
OP says:
"You have more than just an in-law problem." I read that before posting, looks like it's time for a sit-down discussion with him.
What do you think? Is OP right to not want to serve her in-laws on Christmas?